Reed the Viking

Fads, Fartleks, and Chicks with Guns

Fads come and go. When my older siblings were in middle school, pacifiers were apparently a cool accessory to have. I remember pogs, lanyards, beanie babies, pokemanz, yo-yos (especially brains and fireballs), and other stupid crap. After reading this article in The Daily Mail, I feel blessed that my fads were so harmless. You'd think an 'internet craze' called 'the choking game' would sound like a bad idea, right? Then again, some of my best friends used to jump off their roof/balcony. Dr. Ago, you know I'm talking about your dumb 7th grade ass... but it did make for some good videos, if only we had youtube back then!

Bush was a divider, Obama is a uniter! All ages, races, colors and creeds come together to rant about the terrible traffic that paralyzed L.A. when Obama came in for a campaign fundraiser. I kinda feel bad for the guy, but some of the stuff from the article is pretty funny. If anything, it's more an indictment of L.A. residents than Obama. I mean, yeah, Obama could have done a better job, but these L.A. folks are calling for investigations, some are outright apologizing for ever having voted for the guy. I guess L.A. isn't known for being particularly fickle or anything... Poor guy just can't catch a break this week month year presidency. I see pictures of him now and he mostly just looks miserable, it's always sad to see a broken man. At least Bush looked like he was having fun while he was out ruining the country.

IBM carved a world map 1000 times smaller than a grain of sand. We can do that, but we can't find Bin Laden? We can carve a microscopic world map, but we can't give me robot legs? I call shenanigans!

When I was still a suckling babe (age 15), my family would get together with another family or two every once in a while, and we would play a game called Balderdash. It's a great game, and I haven't played it recently, but I'm sure it could be augmented by reckless consumption of alcohol. Anyway, the game goes like this: One person picks up a card with a word on it that nobody has ever heard of, and shows it to everybody. Everybody except the person who picked then writes their own "definition" to the word, and the picker writes the real definition (which is written on the back of the card). Then at the end of the turn, the picker collects all the definitions, mixes em up, and reads em aloud. The people then vote for which definition they thought is the real one. A fun example? Fartlek. Definition: A sub-tropical plant, the root of which has found many applications in skin products due to its richness in vitamin e. Ok, see I made that up, because going with a scatological joke would be too easy and thus, lame. The real definition is some running exercise or something, I don't really remember.

Where is this story going, you might ask me. Well, I distinctly remember that it was during a game of Balderdash that I learned the meaning of the word Schadenfreude (most of the adults at the table already knew the meaning, buncha smartasses...). Schadenfreude is simply definied as getting pleasure out of somebody else's pain. A cliche joke to make would be "only the Germans would come up with a word like that." Ok, so that was a long lead-up, but here's the point. Schadenfreude: Seneca Nation Calls on Bloomberg to Resign Over Racially Insensitive Remarks. Oh the delicious, delicious irony... suck on it nanny Bloomberg, suck on it. To be fair, I thought what he said was pretty damn funny, but that won't spare him any sympathy on my part. Hoisted with your own petard, whatever a petard is anyway.

Not all right-leaning people are racists, I've stressed that a bunch, but also, not all racists are right-leaning. Don't forget that some of the original advocates for abortion wanted to use it to stymy black baby-makin'... too bad the blacks fought back with Marvin Gaye and all that other awesome music that gets you in the mood and out of your clothes. Frederick Douglas was a libertarian, apparently. If you don't know who Frederick Douglas is, shame on you. If you don't know who Marvin Gaye is (and you're a woman of at least a 5 on the 1-10 hotness scale), let me introduce him to you sometime ;).

This guy is a complete and total winner. He nabbed it all, billionaire heiress, hot billionaire heiress, and the world's richest unibrow for a father in law. The downside is that he's married to Canadian inlaws... so is the trade-off really worth it?

I quoted an article the other day, the gist of which was that Americans are the most tolerant people in the world, most critical of their own perceived intolerant behavior, and the most lax on the intolerant behavior of the most intolerant people in the world. Jonah Goldberg strikes a similar chord in his post, "America, the Decent." Do NOT, I repeat, do NOT misread that as "descent" because 'Mrrrkah ain't goin' nowhere, and Goonies never say die! Meanwhile, heinous Nancy "The (Bo)Toxic Avenger" Pelosi suggests we investigate those who oppose the mosque. She must not be very familiar with that whole first amendment thing that she's claiming to champion. My dad always told me that the first rule of holes is, "When you're in one, quit digging." So obviously, as logic would dictate, Ms. Avenger would stop digging and get herself out of that hole, right? The Botoxic Avenger doubles down. I can understand where she went wrong; KFC has been doing great with their revolutionary double down, why shouldn't it work for her? Answer: Because when she doubled down, there was a conspicuous lack of bacon and cheese.

Legislators in D.C. scared of a bunch of girls! How are we supposed to go head to head with threatening world players like NoKo and Iran if the beltway is full of pansies afraid of moms holding glocks. Now, to finish my post in the best way possible, I will honor these beautiful gun toting milfs with some nice pictures. Mmmmmm. G-d Bless America!

George Bush Hates Broccoli and Look at the Monkeys!

Then: The Instaprophet foretold the future in his blogposts.

Now: Reed the Vikingprophet has foretold the future. I now take pleasure in presenting to you, NBC's article about the 3D Porn industry!

Speaking of prophets, this ironic Russian prophet saw the future a little too clearly: Russian man jailed for assaulting fortune teller who predicted he would be jailed. The most outrageous part of it, in my 'Mrrkin opinion, is that this fucker only got 22 years for stabbing two people to death. Question of the day: Did the fortune teller predict this man's future, or did she compel him to commit murder with her mind powers, thus ensuring a correct prediction and winning lots of publicity as a good psychic. She is a gypsy, so keep that in mind. Also, note that she was not seriously injured in the spree. I'm leaning towards theory #2.

The 20 Awesomest Monkeys. Let me just stress to you how freakin' awesome that article is. It's incredible! I wanted to embed the video for the first one I saw, but then I realized that the other 19 were arguably even better. My vote for most hilarious goes out to the monkey who pees in his own mouth. My vote for coolest monkey employee goes to the two monkeys who work at that japanese restaurant. My vote for monkey with my largest balls goes out to the monkey who fucked with that family of tigers. Go to this site and watch them all, thank me later. (H/T: Dr. Ago)

Also courtesy of the Dr. Ago is the Top 10 Worst Bear Grylls Meals. To be expected, it's incredibly disgusting, but like a train wreck, you just can't stop watching.

Arguably more rare than an actual unicorn: Iranian Jew in the IDF. Seriously an incredible and unimaginable story of courage.

Tammy Bruce, whoever that is, nails a bunch of hypocritical "feminists" at Emily's List (not as sexy as that sounds). Apparently,  Emily's List's definition of feminism isn't advancing the cause of women's rights, but like so many other special interest lobby groups (LGBT, NAACP, NAMBLA), their mission is to advance the cause of the democratic party.

I would come up with something witty to say about this article, but I like the headline that Allahpundit gave to it: Billionaire runs out of things to do with his money. A million dollars just ain't what it used to be, so sadly, it's probably not worth fucking up your career over. Sorry, Mr. Billionaire, but I'm not going to take that deal.

I'm currently in the process of finding a house to rent. I know that I have renter's insurance, but how would that cover something like this? Now that they've ended apartheid, I wonder if some of those babies are white paired with black bums, and if some are black paired with white bums. That'd make for some hopeful imagery.

Some mosque commentary from some more muslims. I'm honestly tired of the whole conversation. They have a legal right to do it, and they're assholes for it. I support their legal rights, I do not support the Cordoba Initiative. If they were about mending relationships, they've obviously done the opposite and if they were serious about it, they would have been sensitive when they realized that they were ruining relationships. It's all been said, this is all very tired, so here are the links. Al-Arabiya (no relation to Al-Qaeda) Abdul Rahman Al-Rashid puts in his two cents. M. Zuhdi Jasser, a formal naval officer and doctor also responds.

Second-Class Americans: How the Left Helps Create the Right it Fears and Despises. I don't know if I necessarily agree with the dichotomy Ross Douthat categorizes Americans into, but I certainly agree with his (and James Poulos') claim of how the left views the right. To a lot of those on the left, the right is the enemy more than the actual enemy.

Armless Chinese Guy Plays Piano With His Feet on China's Got Talent. I especially liked it cause I got to practice my Chinese skillz. It's pretty good, but I've seen like, 3 year olds play better songs on youtube. So what if he's using his feet, he played a song that sounded pretty simple. If you're going to go on a talent show and play music, you have to play Freebird. Question: How does he use the foot pedals? Seriously though, this is why China's going to kick ass in the future... I mean, they've got 1.4 billion people, if only one in a million of them is absolutely brilliant, then they've got like, 1,400 absolutely brilliant people! Actually, that doesn't sound that impressive, never mind.

Using Google to find out who hates what. This is pretty funny. Among the most commonly hated are the Jews, Black people, Muslims and America. Fun fact: George Bush hates broccoli.

Some tips for girls on how to be a good hook-up. I particularly like the bit of knowledge, "make sure you don't leave lookin' like a busted ho." What if you are, in fact, a buste ho? Not very good advice I guess.

Steep drop in circumcision in the U.S. Is this proof that anti-semitism is on the rise? Oh well, sucks to be those gentiles, everybody knows the mushroom-tip leaves a better imprint on the face after you give her a good cock-slap. Or my personal favorite, the Danza-slap (cock-slap, but afterwards you ask her "Who's the Boss"... it's Tony Danza in case you were unaware). But seriously, I feel sorry for all those lil' babies with their little baby anteater peckers. They've got to deal with the dreaded and mystical smegma.

Noted Sci-fi author hates big government. The article happens to be talking about Ray Bradbury, but it could well be a great number of awesome sci-fi writers. I loved his Martian Chronicles when I was a kid.

I haven't posted a picture of a scantily clad beauty in a while, so here's one that's beautiful, scantily clad, and relevent to the post. Enjoy!

Damnit, NPH is Taken

Neil Patrick Harris and his lover dude are expecting twins... I'm just sad that he's in a committed relationship because A.) that means I have no shot and B.) it kinda messes up the perception of him that he's been cultivating for 5 seasons of How I Met Your Mother. I heard NPH on the radio the other day doing awareness commercials for some disease. Congrats NPH/Dr. Horrible/Barney, you are the greatest.

Second look at American cars? Chrysler truck comes with built in gun-rack.

What we've all been waiting for: Warning Labels on Newspapers. Warning: This Article Contains Ignorance of History, Hard <Left/Right> Bias, and No Nudy Pics. Truly a brilliant idea.

Clouds Can Communicate, Scientists Say. I guess that puts them a step above Congress. I like the caption under the picture of those clouds at the link. It literally says, "Cumulus clouds swell in a blue sky. What might they be saying to each other?" And they wonder why Comedy Central makes fun of them daily from 10:00-11:00. They're clouds, Fox, maybe they're talking about the weather. The headline talks about scientists, but I think they might just mean a little kid in his dad's shirt (also known in the professional art world as a smock).

My mommy says clouds communicate, and the thunder is what happens when they argue!

Being a gimpy retard in England doesn't sound so bad. Taxpayer dollars used on lapdances and hookers for disabled and elderly. Sometimes, I wish I were disadvantaged so I could reap the benefits of legislation passed by guilt-ridden privileged white people.

I would have paid to be the officer who arrested this "criminal." Italian woman arrested for sensuously applying her sun screen to her naked bosom. On second thought, considering she's Italian, I wouldn't want her in my patrol car seeing as they haven't heard of deodorant over there yet. Someday Europe, you will learn.

No doubt the guido sensation is getting a lot of press now due to Jersey Shore, but the truth of the matter is, those tools have been around (and subsequently marginalized) for almost 20 years now. They were played out when I was in High School, and they're not getting any cooler. Guidos, however, are a non-issue in NY's utter tool heirarchy (unless you make the mistake of going across the G.W. into Jersey, or stepping foot onto that awful island off Manhattan [Long Island or Staten Island, take your pick]). The most irritating NY personality is that which we call the Hipster, found primarily in Williamsburg, Brooklyn. I am not here to give you an introduction to Hipsters, so if you are not sure what one is, I suggest you do your own research or look at these pictures. I mention hipsters because of this hilarious girl's video of her "confessions of a hipster." It's so spot on, I can't be sure she's not actually a hipster who is being ultra-ironic by making fun of hipsters, thus making her the hippest. (H/T: Batman)

Good thing I speak the lingo, suckas! I'm prepared... China is going to kick ass in science and research. We'll see how many articles about talking clouds come out of the east.

Forgive me for paraphrasing. Obama: "Hey Turkey, don't be a fuckin' dick." Good job, sir.

Strange Bedfellows: Israel and Saudi Arabia coordinating against Iran? It's like that time Clark Kent teamed up with Kryptonite to defeat Dennis Rodman (admission: I don't read comics).

Here's a quiz made by The Rebel Economist who goes on the street to tell people about a government program, and then asks whether it's real or made up. It's a testament to how shitty our congress is that I wasn't surprised by a single answer. (H/T: Hotair.com)

Only in America (H/T: Instapundit) - "this was a quintessential American wedding. A handsome Marine marries a beautiful Iraqi woman who is led down the aisle by two old Jewish guys." America, fuck yeah!

VDH comments about the same American tolerance shown in the above quote (H/T: Instapundit) - "This is the most tolerant society in the world, the most multiracial and richest in religious diversity — and the most critical of its exceptional tolerance and the most lax in pointing out the intolerance of the least diverse and liberal." It's a really good article, worth reading the whole thing (it's pretty short).

To contrast the above two links, I'll give you this article about angry racist teapartiers specifically targeting hispanics in race-based attacks. Oops, did I say teapartiers? I meant "young black men."

Seeing as the battle for gay rights is drawing to a close, the LGBT lobby groups have to find something to get angry about to stay relevent. LGBT groups criticize drug that has a side-effect of lowering chances the user will be homosexual. I would probably agree with them if a drug was made who's purpose was to make gay people turn heterosexual, but this is a drug created with the purpose of fixing a birth defect (not homosexuality, smartass) in the user's womb. Like I said, they must be just starving for attention if this is the crusade they're going on.

More medical madness: The Whooping Cough is back! It's always been one of my favorite illnesses, and I was formerly sad that it couldn't be listed as a cause of death anymore, but it's back! Thanks Jenny McCarthy, you obtuse hag. Jenny McCarthy has been urging parents not to get their children vaccinated because "it could cause autism." That sounds like one of those unfounded rumors that I make up on a daily basis. From a doctor in the article: "The good news is — we have a large body of information now to show zero association between vaccines and autism." Parents, vaccinate your kids... on second thought, do what you want, I'm homeschooling my vikinglings and they're going to have some really odd beliefs about Owen Wilson's nose.

Somebody call Chris Christie: Teachers Union calls for boycott of the LA Times because the times wants accountability. Ed does a good job with this one, so click the link and I'll leave it to him.

I believe it was Jeff Goldblum aka Dr. Ian Malcolm in Jurassic Park who said, "nature always finds a way." If a man is meant to ride the roads, taking away his car won't stop him. 4th DUI awarded to drunk man driving lawnmower in the street. So much for 3 strikes you're out. He was driving east in the westbound lane with no lights. Unfortuantely he does not have a mullet, but his mugshot is still pretty good. He looks like a methed up William Forsythe, no?

Oyster Herpes, Ways To Quit Your Job, and Ground Queero

Lots of stuff to link today, and for some, the headlines just speak for themselves so I'll let them do that.

Shaq is really a 12 year old girl named Tanya.

Latest Adverse Effect of Global Warming: Oyster Herpes. Not kidding, not even a little bit.

Judge Grants Bail for Angry Flight Attendent (the one mentioned in yesterday's post).

Best Way to Quit Your Job. She really is a HPOA.

Paul Ryan again makes Paul Krugman look like a partisan hack.

Yesterday Medicare's chief actuary said that it's a failure. Today we find out Social Security is a ponzi scheme (something a certain Viking has been saying for years).

Somebody just give her some damn nuggets before she burns this motherfucker down (video below). There's no sound, so click the link to get some background and then watch.

Winning hearts and minds, healing the world from the terror that was Bush/Cheney '00-'08... Tell me, sir, is this the hope or is it the change? Iran digs mass graves for future U.S. troops. Honestly, Iran digging mass graves for 'Mrrkin troops is like the Giants selling Superbowl XLII Champion T-shirts on February 2nd, 2008 (mom's birthday, happy birthday 2008 Mom). Oh... wait, maybe that's not a good analogy.

SecDef to Cut Spending at the Pentagon. This is potentially a good thing, if they make prudent budgeting decisions. It'd be laughably ignorant to argue that there's no good places to cut defense spending without harming national security. There are plenty of places to hit us, and as long as they hit us in reasonable places, I'm happy. But by G-d if you cut my pay, congress, I'll fucking shit everywhere! And give me more bonuses, allowances, and double my G.I. bill. Thanks in advance!

Instead of cutting services, why not pay gov't employees less (but I'll SHIT EVERYWHERE!)? Not a bad idea, honestly. Even Gawker has complained about gov't salaries, saying "only government bloodsuckers made more money last year."

Noted man with feminine first name who rubs one out each time Obama speaks criticizes Obama... what is going on here? Don't blow up his spot, Dana! I legitimately didn't know that Obama has played double the amount of golf in 2 years as W. did in 8. Who's side are you working for anyway?! Get your message straight, don't you know that you're at the WaPo?

Best news evah? Girls hitting puberty earlier than ever! Actually, that might be the worst news ever... if I'm slummin' around with a 3rd grader, I sure as hell don't want there to be a possibility that I get her preggers. Damn cryin' shame, stop pouring estrogen into the water supply to turn us gay/sterile/into women. Let me add to that conspiracy theory; nope, I couldn't think of anything crazier than that which has already said. Hmm, gotta try... Owen Wilson has a great nose, he just uses CGI to make it look bad so the general public doesn't get jealous that he has it all. I could do better than that, but I'm not going to right now. Anyway, girls are hitting puberty earlier, and I've had a constant boner since I was 3, but I still can't grow a damn beard?

Maybe it IS real, not just a conspiracy? Chinese babies grow breasts due to contaminated milk.

Bi-partisan: Mature, 49 year old man refuses to take a letter from somebody who disagrees with him politically. Maybe he's just scared of Rick Perry, after all, he does go jogging with a badass gun. For all those who click on that second link, I must forewarn you: they use the word varmint.

Christopher Hitchens, who I agree with maybe 50% of the time but respect very much, writes about the bad reaction to the Ground Zero Mosque. I'm totally with him on this one, quote:

"Where to start with this part-pathetic and part-sinister appeal to demagogy? To begin with, it borrows straight from the playbook of Muslim cultural blackmail. Claim that something is "offensive," and it is as if the assertion itself has automatically become an argument. You are even allowed to admit, as does Foxman, that the ground for taking offense is "irrational and bigoted." But, hey—why think when you can just feel?"

While I personally feel strongly in opposition to the building of that mosque, and I know (as Hitchens does too) that this is a blatant provocation from a guy who is obviously no friend to America, I too believe that the answer is not to have executive power shut down the operation. Protesting or writing about the mosque is fine, but pleas for Obama to step in and deny the owners of the property to do what they'd like with it is not OK. Best solution: Gutfeld's gay bar. Libertypundits and some others have already been brainstorming some good names for it. To name a few, they have Ground Queero, Al Gayda, Jihard, Dome of the Cock, United 69. So I am offended by the Mosque there, as I am surely meant to be, but as I've said before, I thought this was 'Mrrka. This place was founded on religious freedom, and it's been a whole lot better to my people than anywhere else we've gone (besides Israel of course).

Ground Zero Mosque's response to Greg Gutfeld's gay bar idea: "Your gay bar won't build dialogue because it doesn't consider our sensibilities." Ahh, I love to end a post with a little irony.

I Made Up A Word: Jewbral

Stephen Hawking: Humans - Explore Space of Face Extinction. I've been trying to get out to the great unknown with my brothel harem for G-d knows how long. After finishing Childhood's End and realizing the stars are not for man, I was disillusioned, but I'm ready to forget about that book now.

Artificial life forms evolve basic intelligence. I don't know what's scarier, the fact that man-made life forms are evolving, or the fact that they look like moths! That's surefire proof that A.I. is evil right there. Not that we needed more proof, I've seen the Matrix and Terminator. If we can create evolving artificial life, why couldn't somebody have created us? Maybe those religious fags are onto something... Are we just Sims?! WHO AM I? If there is a creator, I bet he likes Pink Floyd.

Jonas Brothers:

1. Jonas sews up his own leg because E.R. wait is too long. Never thought I'd say this about a Jonas, but this guy is pure, 100% 'Mrrkin man. Never mind that he's Swedish and thus, probably can't even pronounce Jonas (it might be like, Yonah or something; I don't know, am I even using the right stereotype here?). Damn Swedes and their delicious Swedish Fish!
2. George Jonas talks about the ground zero mosque. I know I've talked pretty extensively about the ground zero mosque before, but I think George Jonas talks about it better than I do so I'll leave it to him. He says everything I've been thinking, but am too inept to put into (English) words. It's a short article, and it's really damn good, just read it.

While on the topic of the mosque*, let's see what these two Canadian terrorists Muslims have to say about it. I know what you're thinking: "Canadian AND Muslim? How could it get any worse?" Let me tell you how: They're half Mexican (and not the legal kind). If they didn't have to go to American public school with all of us bigots, they certainly dodged a bullet; I know that in my high school, we would've knocked the turban off those mullets. Ah, yes, as I was saying, let's see what these two Canadian (LOL!) Muslims (scary and foreign!) have to say about the mosque: Um, Earth to White people: yeah, it's a provocation. When I say white people, I'm referring to the "stuffwhitepeoplelike" type of White person, of course. To paraphrase the article, "You are a dumb dumby if you think this is about holding hands and singing kumbayah, but that's not even the important thing to look at. Look at the $100 million and where it's coming from." Ok, how about a real quote, Reed.

"As for those teary-eyed, bleeding-heart liberals such as New York mayor Michael Bloomberg and much of the media, who are blind to the Islamist agenda in North America, we understand their goodwill.

Unfortunately for us, their stand is based on ignorance and guilt, and they will never in their lives have to face the tyranny of Islamism that targets, kills and maims Muslims worldwide, and is using liberalism itself to destroy liberal secular democratic societies from within."

It's a good article for sure, and I know I was poking fun of the authors, but definitely worth the time. There's a little philosophical overlap with the Jonas piece, but read it anyway for the parts that don't overlap. These guys seem legit, made more so by their awesomely named book titles, "Their Jihad... Not My Jihad" and "The Jew is Not My Enemy." You can find those on the shelf next to the female empowerment classic, "Overcooked Rice is Not a Legitimate Excuse for the Beatings," and of course, it's sequal "Battered Woman: 200 Pancake and Waffle Recipes So Good He'll Keep His Hands on the Table and Off You!" Cause pancakes and waffles are made from batter, so she's a battered woman, get it? I can't take full credit for that one (and I'm not sure I want to) so I'll give due credit for the battered woman joke to Forrington Emhouse.

Red Eye's Greg Gutfeld, on the other hand, was inspired by the story of the ground zero mosque; so inspired that he decided to create a project to build another bridge that needs building. Greg Gutfeld: I'm raising money to build a Muslim gay bar next to the Ground Zero Moqsue.

Paul Krugman apparently wrote an article bitching about Paul Ryan's Roadmap that I was too lazy to read, but I'll dishonestly assert that it was full of crap. I mean c'mon, anybody who wishes that our government functioned more like communist China doesn't have anything to say that I find particularly worth hearing... Oh, what's that? That's Thomas Friedman who does that? Excuse me for being unable to tell the difference between two jewbrals (jewish liberals) who work at the Times and have stupid facial hair. To be fair, at least Pauly K got a Nobel Prize (but so did Obama, so what's that really worth?). Back on topic though, Paul Ryan responded to Krugman's article, and since I like him and his plan, he gets a link and some free press, suck it Paul (Krugman, not Ryan).

Daniel/Christie 2012? No, not for office, but for a weird lesbian scene (granted Chrstie could take a time machine back to when she was young and spry). I meant THIS Daniels/Christie 2012... I wish. My friends and readers all know I love Chris Christie, half because of what he does, but mostly because of how he does it (check your math, Reed... How can you half love something, and then mostly love some other part of it? Two halves make a whole). Mitch Daniels on the other hand, is somebody who I find interesting and impressive, but haven't written or talked much about. He's quiet and not particularly charismatic, and he doesn't have the advantage of looking like a fat guy from New Jersey. On the other hand, he has undoubtably done better things with his state than possibly any other Governor, and his poll numbers show it. So that's why I give him the top of the ticket, and Christie the bottom.

I was told I'm getting an exclusive scoop about a new political campaign ad that should blow Basil Marceaux and Dale Peterson out of the water. I should be getting my hands on it later this week, just standby. Until then, here's a story of a plane steward (almost undoubtably gay, just guessing based on occupation) who cussed out his passengers and peaced out the emergency exit, only after first grabbing some beers to go. Awesome...

*For the record, Mosque is NOT the french spelling of the word Mask, but it is the British pronounciation.

Obama Does Not Like Soylent Green

A few days ago, I wrote about my sister and how she thought Lady GaGa was saying "Bon Jovi romance" in her song "Bad Romance." My older brother read the post, and when I called him, he told me that he too heard some misleading lyrics. He heard that song "Dynamite" by Taio Cruz and the song goes, "I throw my hands up in the air sometimes sayin' ayo, gotta let go." Well my bro heard "ayo, Galileo" and figured, he was throwing his hands up in the air at the celestial bodies and thanking Galileo for his groundbreaking work in astronomy. When he found out that's not what Taio was saying, he didn't like the song quite as much, but now, like with Bad Romance, whenever I hear that song, I always say "Galileo" instead of gotta let go. It's a way cooler song if you do that.

Important classified information finally declassified. Thankfully, there was no WikiLeaks in the 1940's so all that mass panic was averted. I wonder what other alien-related business they're hiding from us!

How to avoid jail-time for your crimes: Become a transsexual. You might think that's useless information, because in your mind, you're not a criminal but guess again. There are over 4500 federal laws on the books and you have to know them all, because as we all know, ignorance of the law is not an excuse... unless you're a police officer, that is. Radley Balko writes a compelling piece on the subject, and goes in further depth to show that even when you know the law and the police do not, which can result in wrongful detainment, there are no consequences for the offending officer. Even though it's like, his job to know and enforce the law.

Full-body scanners have been saving images taken at a court house in Orlando... shit, now everybody who works for the TSA is gonna see that I pack my undies :(... But on the otherhand, if the TSA was using scanners to catch this supposed terrizt, I will gladly let them look at my sock-enhanced junk. Hopefully this guy was just a drunk trying to get his nicotine fix on an airplane, but if it's another terror attempt, that'd make an awful lot since Obama took office. Are we getting lax, or are they hating us more? Obama, quick, go talk in Cairo, and this time, make sure to tell them how much they've contributed to math and science. It's a huge mission, NASA won't be able to do it all on it's own.

The Middle East is more complicated than people make it out to be, myself included. Freelance reporter Michael J. Totten is somebody I relatively trust on Middle East issues, and he's just come out with another excellent piece. It's very long, but well worth the read, particularly if you want to inform yourself on another side of the Israeli psyche that doesn't get reported in the international media, regardless of politics. He and his interviewee also draw their own distinction between legitimate criticism of Israel (and there is plenty to be had) and anti-semitism. I think you will find them to be very fair, and the bottom line is that any "criticism" of Israel that does not afford Israelis normal human decency can be safely regarded as anti-semitic. Some good quotes below:

Most Israelis are here because they fled from Muslim and European countries. They don’t feel that either of those blocs have the right to lecture them about anything. Why should a country where your parents were expelled or killed have the right to tell you how to conduct yourself in a war against people who are trying to kill you today? This is something hardly any non-Israelis understand. They don’t understand how galling we find this.

Israelis are often accused of being arrogant, but they find it extremely arrogant for Europeans and Arabs to lecture them about morals, especially during a war. What has Israel ever done that is as brutal as what Europe did to the Jews, or what Arabs routinely do to even each other during armed conflicts?

Much of what is regarded as criticism is actually an assault. It is intended to wound and cause pain. It is intended to demonize. The way, for example, some people off-handedly accuse Israel of genocide, as if this is not even in question. This, to me, is obviously intended to be as hurtful as possible. I can’t even begin to explain to you how offensive the Nazi comparison is. It’s like a person who raped and murdered your child stands up in court and says you did it. That’s what it feels like. It’s difficult to even respond because it’s so unthinkably cruel to say something like that. To compare us to our worst enemies, enemies who decimated us, our fathers, our grandfathers within living memory—it’s not just that this isn’t within the realm of rational discourse, it isn’t even in the realm of human decency.

The issue of human decency is a big one. It may be difficult to define, but whenever criticism crosses that line, that, to my mind, is where anti-Semitism begins. Anti-Semitism ultimately is a refusal to accord basic human decency to the Jewish people. It’s a refusal to relate to a certain group of people with the common human decency with which you would relate to anybody else.

I'm linking to the piece again right here because I think it's that good and hope that maybe some of you might read it. Maybe I think it's so good because Brilliant People Agree With Me. While Orin Kerr's post is certainly valid, I actually don't feel that my positions fall in lock-step with Michael J. Totten's. I think he's far more knowledgable than I, and I keep a very open mind when I read him. He's educated me on many matters, dispelling preconceived notions (particularly in the case of the Lebanese) and making me wiser for it.

The Future: L.A. Times reveals that public pensions may consume a third of the city's general fund in the distant future, around approximately the year 2015. Oh, shit, that's less than 5 years from now!

Black Tea Partiers have a message for the NAACP: We don't hate black people! Sure you don't, Uncle Toms... you're just like those Jews who worked for the Nazis!

Racist Tea Partiers Liberal radio hosts rain a shitstorm on President Obama using racial terms.

"I think that Barack Obama hates black people. He hates black people, because number one, he wants to be the only big shot black person... Somebody had to remind me that Valerie Jarrett was black, and uh what's his name, Eric Holder. But they're kind of, um, I don't know they're like his kind of black. They're number one physically not even so black.. They're not the kind of black people I like, they're like elitist yuppie black people..."

Yes, Lynn Samuels, I agree. President Obama is racist against black people. I think that comment might be even a little more ridiculous than when Glenn Beck said he doesn't like white people. Is there anybody this President does like, according to our retarded media? Glenn Beck proved he doesn't like crackas, and Lynn Samuels proved he doesn't like the colored folk. Conclusion: President Obama doesn't like people (and by the transitive property, President Obama does not like Soylent Green). I know who President Obama likes.

Bo, the half white, half black First Dog.

Obama likes Bo.

Abe Vigoda is Still Alive

I'd first like to express my gratitude towards Professor Jacobson over at Legal Insurrection for linking to me as his Blog of the Day. I'm flattered that somebody reads me besides my parents. To all those who found my blog through Legal Insurrection's Blog of the Day link, welcome to my site. If you scroll down, you will be happy to find many pictures of women in little clothing, and maybe a video of a drunk Mexican or two.

Apparently, there was a "right-wing Woodstock" in Hollywood that we all just missed, with Hollywood's hottest A-list Republicans. How do you know you lost the culture war? When your headliners have been largely irrelevant for the better part of a score (that's Lincolnese for 20 years) and/or have been arrested for possession of cocaine. Gary Sinese is pretty freakin' awesome though (and no, he's neither irrelevent nor a coke-head). The party was hosted by a group called The Friends of Abe which Hollywood Reporter explains, "For those unfamiliar with the highly secretive club of conservatives in the entertainment business, the name refers to iconic Republican Abraham Lincoln, not Abe Vigoda." Abe Vigoda, thankfully, at the moment of my writing this, is still alive. For those who don't know who Abe Vigoda is, shame on you, but my suggestions are to start with Good Burger where he plays a lovable fry cook, and that episode of weird science where they turn Lisa into an old man (Vigoda plays the afformentioned old timer).

Anne Applebaum: Let me repeat what Reed the Viking has been writing about for the past few days. Ok, maybe she doesn't cite me by name, but she too warns against trusting Republicans when they claim to be fiscally responsible. She too agrees that Obama is far worse with spending than Bush or any president of recent decades (I think Obama is partial to the term unprecedented).

Please note, angry readers, that I am not citing these figures to claim that the Obama administration has done any better: On the contrary, the Obama administration is far more profligate than Clinton or Bush, terrifyingly so... But then, the Democratic Party does not call itself the party of small government. The GOP does.

You cannot pretend that the Republican Party has not supported big and wasteful spending programs -- energy subsidies, farm subsidies, unnecessary homeland security projects, profligate defense contracts, you name it -- for the past decade. Before the GOP can have credibility on any spending issues whatsoever, Republican leaders need to speak frankly about the mistakes of the past.

They also must be extremely specific about which policies and programs they are planning to cut. What will it be? Social Security or the military budget? Medicare or the Transportation Security Administration? Vague "anti-government" rhetoric doesn't cut it anymore: If you want a smaller government, you have to tell us how you will create one.

Cue Paul F-in Ryan with his Roadmap for America.

If it seems like I'm hating on Republicans today, maybe this is why: Jonas Brothers Heart Reagan. Proving once more that it is possible to be both a homosexual and a Republican, and at the same time giving me hope that the culture war has not been lost (I'm imagining 8 year old girls rocking this t-shirt or this t-shirt), Nick Jonas comes to the rescue. Seriously though, couldn't somebody cooler be a fan of the gipper, like Jay-Z or Neil Patrick Harris?

The proverbial iron ricebowl: Teaching in U.S. Public Schools. One of my Chinese teachers, a wise man of about 80 years (somehow he looked and acted 60) once told me that in Chinese, a man's rice bowl is his employment. That is to say, a rice bowl is a euphemism for a job. If you have been laid off, quit your job, or robbed of a means of livelihood (i.e.: athlete gets paralyzed), you can say your metaphorical rice bowl is broken. Government jobs and other jobs with high job security are referred to as an iron rice bowl. I have one; I can expect a paycheck every 1st and 15th of every month until my contract expires. I can be disciplined and fined, but ultimately, I'm still taken care of pretty well regardless of how competent I am. For teachers, it's even worse believe it or not. Former teacher Leonard Pitts' editorial in the Chicago Tribune breaks it down to the fundamentals and basically ends up sounding like my main man Chris Christie. The Teachers' Union is adversely effecting the ejikayshun ov r yooth. I had a lot of great teachers growing up (Mrs. Shea had a nice butt, Mrs. Frost was just plain hot, Mrs. Curtis banged the football team) but I also had some pretty fucking terrible ones, and I always wondered why everybody knew how bad they were, but nobody did anything about it.

I wrote about Tennessee Gubernatorial hopeful Basil Marceaux the other day and linked a video of him on a local news channel explaining his platform. If you watched it and thought about an Alvin Greene/Basil Marceaux 2010 ticket, you're in for a pleasant surprise. Basil Marceaux's official campaign ad. I can't sum it up any better than Allah already did for ya, so just click the link to watch both videos, and I'll host the official one here.

Justice: TV Manager who one punch TKO'd his wife to death over burned roast beef gets only 18 months. Bitch shouldn't have burnt his dinner. 

Call Liam Neeson: Taken - 14 year old taken by gangs and used as a sex save. From the daily mail: "Her ordeal highlights previously-aired fears that white schoolgirls are being used for underage sex by gangs of Asian men in Northern England." Yeah, I know what you're thinking... Damn Triads and Yakuza are terrorizing all over Britain, all whilst using General's Chicken and Sushi as a front for legitimate business. Take your karate dojo elsewhere, Miyagi-san. Wait, what's that? Oh, they have the names and pictures of the men accused? Asad Hassan, Mohammad Basharat? I guess they could technically be from Asia, but that first guy sounds like he could be from Fort Hood, Texas. Ouch, too soon? Maybe the other guys better exemplify their Asian heritage. Another 3 Mohammads, an Achmed and a guy with the last name Khan. I'm going to just go out on a limb here and guess they're not practicing Catholics. Just sayin'.

Pacific Islanders create creepy robot. To be honest, I can't decide who's creepier, the robot or Dr. Hiroshi Ishiguro. His name sounds Japanese, right? Well, Japan is technically an island in the Pacific (Archipelago is more accurate, dumbass). Oh shit, I just realized... I'm Asian; I've got Russian ancestry (well, more like Ashkenazi Jew, prey of preference for actual Russians). I think I'll stick with the caucasian label, affirmative action works against asians and is sorta neutral towards honkeys. If only I was from South Africa, then I could fill the African-American bubble on my SATS all those years ago, thus getting into my dream school, staying motivated to succeed, and never signing a damn contract.

In Honor of the Upcoming Shark Week

Hey look, a small Japanese person playing a famous American pop song on a ukulele... How adorable! If you don't like that song, he also does Obladi Oblada by the Beatles, which you can find in the related videos section to the side of the actual video.

Aside from being really cute, it's also quite impressive considering the kid doesn't speak English. And by impressive, I mean hilarious. He sounds the way I do when I don't know the lyrics to a song. Case in point being the Lady GaGa song "Bad Romance." My sister swears that she says "Bon Jovi Romance" throughout the song, and ever since she said that, that's all I can hear. "Ra ra ah ah ah, roma roma ah, Gaga Ooh la la, Bon Jovi Romance." You'll understand when you hear it.

If Google Maps, Earth, Voice, Search, Video, and Google PeepingTom don't give you anxiety about privacy issues, start worrying. Soon, even your thoughts will not be safe. With the help of the CIA, the Google will read your mind, and then ostensibly decorate your thoughts with a different nifty layout for every holiday you didn't know existed (Didn't you know Reed, July 29th is Gerard Depardieu's second cousins b-day, that's why it's le googleau today).

Tolerance and respect for diversity in the democratic party: My GOP opponent is taking JOOOOOish money. They're just giving him their precious joo gold, and c'mon, they're jooooooooooz. Seems like the democrats are coordinating their racist message today (perhaps they took their talking points from Journolist?), because the top democratic politician in the country referred to blacks as "mongrel people." For those afraid or too lazy to hit the link, that cracker in the white house called black people mongrels. Do you need me to spell it out for you? That racist (half) white man President Obama was caught being a racialist racist! I'm SOOOO OUTRAGED! But like Glenn said, "It's only racist if a Republican says this sort of thing."

Sportsgrid seems to think this guy had the worst idea ever. I tend to think the first guy to eat an artichoke was taking more of a risk, but seriously, Cleveland fans? If this were Philadelphia, he'd be dead in a dumpster, probably being sexually assaulted by homeless people. So yeah, I am going to call them out and say that this guy did not have the worst idea ever. The real worst idea a person could ever have? Going to Philadelphia.

Autralian guy with funny first name tells us what we already know. Harvard Prof. Niall Ferguson warns about the dangers of our financial house (aka, we're in deep shit, this debt is super duper serial). I'm not a doomsayer, but OMG WE'RE DOOMED! It's probably because we let a sekrit islamb into the white house to destroy our country. On the real, it's a bad situation and I just wish somebody would listen to Paul Ryan. Our Congress doesn't know the meaning of the word budget and they don't give a shit because it's MY generation that's going to get fucked. Good thing I hedged my bets and speak Chinese... I've got a pretty decent chance to be able to survive, whether 'Mrrka keeps kickin' ass or not. I'll probably just blast off into space asap with my harem whenever that becomes technologically feasible. Maybe I'll kidnap Christopher Nolan too so that he can blow my mind with new movies every few years (yeah, Inception kicked serious ass).

Now for the important stuff: What would the world be like without sharks? Well I know we wouldn't have the JAWS ride at universal, that's for sure. I love sharks; anytime anybody asks me what animal I'd be if I could choose one, I tell them I'd be an apex predator. If I had to choose an extant land animal, I'd probably be a tiger or a wolf or a bear... In the sea, I'd be a Greak White Shark, Orca (they don't call 'em Killer Whale for nothing) or Moby Dick (He's named Dick for a reason... he slangs that big thang like an oscar meyer). In the air, I'd be an 'Mrrkin Eagle (known to terrizts and hippies as a bald eagle) or some sort of genius, bespectacled owl. Now if we were to consider extinct animals, depending on time period I'd be a Dire Wolf, Smilodon (Sabre Toothed Tiger) or a T-Rex, RAWRRRR!!! Pretty obvious choices... is anybody still reading? Does anybody care :'(.

Alright, well now I'll give you something we can all agree is good, or in honor of Gerard Depardieu's 2nd cousin's birthday, something we can all agree is bon. Enjoy (yes, one of those photos is from a site called chicksfishing.com, G-d Bless 'Mrrrka and the interweb). Some pictures of me (in Shark form) and some beautiful womens.

Black Jew: The Unicorn of Minorities

A bit of a slow news day for me, but I did read an article about the best mom evah. But seriously, selling the baby was more responsible than putting it in the dumpster, right? I also enjoy how committed she was to video games, that despite her gambling debt, she was willing to use some of that baby-sale money to buy a playstation. As a gamer, I can relate to that, and don't tell my parents, but back when my little brother was still young and cute, and not a terrizt teenager, I tried to trade him for a superscope on SNES. Yeah, I already had the console, but the toy gun was totally worth the trade. Vash, you're cool and all, but at the time, you were like a little baby and were sorta useless, so forgive me for my evil thoughts. I digress, where was I? Worst mom, check.

Best basketball player evah? Amar'e Stoudemire. He just found out about his jewish roots (I know, really?) and these are some of his last few tweets on twitter:

“Boker Tov !! People. Have a great day. I'm done with a weight lift, next stop Basketball Court. All ways working. Shalom.”

When asked, "What's up with the hebrew, are you jewish?" his response was, "Yes Indeed!!"

"I'm the new Reggie White. (RIP) I'm going 2 Israel 2 study Hebrew. It's time 2 get a better understanding on who we R. Follow me !! Shalom" He then mentioned that he has family that lives there.

"Just finished playing a game of Chess. That's a great game to play." I agree Amar'e.

"On the flight to Israel. This is going to be a great trip. The holy land. Learn about it. This ze ha'halom sheli. Shalom."

"Jerusalem is a beautiful city, I'm at a cafe eating a late lunch. I'm learning Hebrew by the min. Keep up !! Shalom."

I don't even watch basketball (because the knicks suck and didn't get Lebron), but I'd actually heard of Stoudemire which is impressive for somebody as ignant as I. Actually, I'll be honest and say that when I first was directed to his twitter, I thought it was Damon Stoudemire's (the basketball playing Stoudemire I actually know; I used to like the Trail Blazers when I was in middle school). But still, this guy is the man, purely because he's of the same religion as me. JEW POWER! Tribal affiliation trumps all, suckas!

Overreaction much? Woman threatened at knife-point after the knife-weilder touches her butt. It's not what you think, honestly. Laquita Mattox's friend toucher has ass, causing her to clench, and thus break the bed she was sitting on with her what I assume to be ginormous ass.

I once posted a video of Steven Colbert embarrassing WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange (yes, that's his real last name), and I figured Assange's credibility was pretty much shot after everybody exposed him as an ideologue commited to damaging America's image and standing, even if he had to manipulate facts and footage to do it. I had hoped not to give him the time of day, but this scumbag apparently has endangered the lives of a ton of Afghans who trusted us to keep them safe in return for working with us. This guy went from dishonest hack to worst kind of scum pretty quick. I know he's off hiding in Sweden, but if Obama can order unmanned drone assassinations of U.S. Citizens (see Anwar Al-Awlaki, U.S. Citizen) without trial, he certainly could pop a cap in this fools douchey blonde head. His hair is only marginally less terrible than Guy Fieri's, but at least Guy seems to realize how bad his hair is and genuinely seems to hate himself. This guy looks like a gay Draco Malfoy... Gayco Malfoy.

Kobayashi lost this hot-dog eating competition when he had to run to the ATM half-way thru and drain his bank account. 69 Dollar Hot Dog at Serendipity 3. My family used to go there yearly to celebrate the end of the school year, and I think it got gayer each year (literally gay, not like, derogatory "quit being so gay" gay). The frozen hot chocolate was always pretty good, but that's about all I remember from that place besides the gayness and how the interior looks. Makes sense that they'd have a 69 dollar weiner, if you get my middle school level drift ;).

Speaking of gay, Masshole rep Barney Frank (D-Mass) perpetuates age-old jewish stereotype's by arguing over a dollar senior citizen discount. Glenn puts it best: "If only he were as cheap with our money as he is with his own."

“Massachusetts Congressman Barney Frank caused a scene when he demanded a $1 senior discount on his ferry fare to Fire Island’s popular gay haunt, The Pines, last Friday. Frank was turned down by ticket clerks at the dock in Sayville because he didn’t have the required Suffolk County Senior Citizens ID. A witness reports, ‘Frank made such a drama over the senior rate that I contemplated offering him the dollar to cool down the situation.’”

They call this news? Muslims and Nazis don't like Jewish People. Keep up the groundbreaking reporting Der Spiegel.

Just because you're a teacher does not mean you're good, nor does it mean you necessarily care about children. Whistleblowing teacher fired for exposing teacher thefts of student food. What a god awful story, only one person here did the right thing and she got punished. That's usually how it goes though, ain't it? Stealing federally provided lunches from poor students, it doesn't get much worse than that. Actually, now that I've started my brain working, if I really wanted to go to hell, after stealing the lunch I'd sell it back to the kids (at a cheap price of course, they ARE strapped for cash you know) and make a little bonus. You always hear how underpaid teachers are, right?

Just because you're a cop does not mean you're good, nor does it mean you necessarily care about stopping murderers and saving lives. Unfortunately, I kind of understand the cops a little tiny bit here... Yes, what they did was jacked up, but that's the sort of lesson that gets instilled in large bureaucracies, where covering ones own ass is the most important thing. Ideally, I would hope that covering your ass would involve not letting innocent people get murdered on your watch, but who am I to have ideals anyway? As always, Glenn puts it best: "Breaking down doors for drug raids is bad. Breaking down doors to prevent murder is good. Guess which one the cops hold back on..." Remember, a few months ago I posted video of the cops breaking into a house on a "drug bust," arresting the father and killing the pet dog in front of the family (including a little kid). I think they found a little pot in that house, but that was all. Dave Chappelle was wiser than he knew (first minute has the most relevant part, but the whole clip is hilarious).

Chappelle's Show
Tron Carter's Law & Order
www.comedycentral.com
Buy Chappelle's Show DVDs Black Comedy True Hollywood Story

The Perfect Girlfriend

So last week, I started putting up pictures of scantily clad broads and I saw a huge uptick in my traffic... surprise surprise. I've come to terms with the fact that no matter how good I think I have written a post, you all just care about boobs. That's fine, I'll deliver the breasts. First, I'll make you read what I have to say though (please don't scroll to the bottom without reading, it hurts my feelings!). Maybe this will get you to read: We all know that SEX makes you smarter, but for those of you too nerdy to interact with real females, I've got even better news - Virtual sex might have the same benefits. I can't wait til they have virtual reality sex, and trust me, the first kinds of virtual reality WILL be sex-based. Sex leads industry, whether it be in the case of VHS or even the internet, sex is the forerunner in all. My favorite part of games like City of Heroes and World of Warcraft is creating my character, customizing how he looks and making it to my liking. Now imagine, you have a character creator where you can customize the virtual fuck-buddy... that is pure win, my friends. Don't worry, you don't have to imagine, I've imagined for you. I now take the pleasure in presenting my future virtual girlfriend! I've programmed her and designed her personality to personal taste.

The horror, THE HORROR! Run Liberals, make good on your promise to flee to Canada if Bush gets elected again. ABC News: (Jeb) Bush 2012? Surely a terrifying concept, let's hope it doesn't come down to that. Then again, between him and Palin.. *shudder*

Living on the edge: Pilot Ejects Seconds Before Crashing and Exploding His Plane (with badass pictures included).

Good news: Iran studying nuclear fusion reactors. Actually, I don't know how scary this thought really is, seeing as nuclear fusion reactors haven't been properly achieved by anyone... yet.

The new Goth: from Korn to Qaeda (it's an alliteration if you say it out loud): Homegrown Jihadis just a bunch of angsty fags adolescents? I'm not sure if I agree with this assessment entirely, but it's certainly an interesting take. I remember one goth chick from my highschool that was always looking to shock and appall, she ended up getting into neo-nazism and I distinctly remember a picture circulating that showed a swastika shaved into her pubes. She was a real loser, but she reveled in it, and I could easily see a teenager like her getting seduced by the shock value of joining the fight against 'Mrrrka.

This is pretty much how I feel about the Kings of Leon in a nutshell: Kings of Leon Concert Cut Short Due to Pigeon Poop. I liked that song "Sex on Fire" which I assume to be about a bad night in Reno capped with a shot of penicillin, but that other song "Use Somebody" kind of makes me want to become a pigeon and just shit all over their concert schedule.

Oops: Chinese Police Beat Official's Wife By Mistake... "I'm sorry ma'am, I thought you were somebody else's wife." Note, the story is not an apology for the police beating the shit out of a woman, it's an apology for beating the wrong woman. Keep it classy, Beijing.

French Nuns get signed to GaGa's record lable. I have nothing to add, I think the headline speaks for itself.

Law and Order: It's a hard-knock life in the pen... unless you're in MEXICAN prison, in which case sign up for your free cell-key, gun, and vehicle in the rec-center. At least they're not in Turkish prison in the 70's, Billy Hayes had a real tough time there. If you don't get the reference, I'm talking about the story which was told in the 1978 flick, Midnight Express, which was written by Oliver Stone. Oliver Stone, the useful idiot who hangs out with Hugo Chavez and loves communism. Nevermind the hypocrisy of being a millionare beneficiary of capitalism; if I were to write about every rich, famous, capitalist-beneficiary communist-sympathizer, I'd have no room to write about anything else. No, Stone gets the mention for this extra bit of nuttery. If you're too lazy to click the link, he said Hitler gets a bad rap and his story is told out of context, the holocaust is taught because of a strong jewish lobby, and the jews control the media. I'm not surprised that he said any of that, hard leftism often goes hand in hand with anti-semitism, but I'm semi-surprised at the lack of condemnation he recieves. If only Mel Gibson had said it, we'd have a news story on our hands I guess.

Confirmed: Reason the Gulf has yet to be cleaned up - Louisiana is the laziest state in the union.

Startin' 'em early: Poledancing classes for 6 year olds. As I always said, if there's grass on the field, leave the middle school and go younger. Kindergartens always a safe bet.

No surprises here: Porn for women sounds incredibly boring and lame. Heck, I haven't been able to watch lesbian porn since I was like 14, it's too softcore. If there's not a corpse and at least 2 different household goods being used in ways they're not intended for, I can't even get it up.

Good news for time-travel: Time-travel without Grandfather Paradox is possible. But does that solve Niven's law of time travel?

More than a 100 planets found in last few weeks that are "Earth-like." Sign me up to go, and make sure I can bring my virtual girlfriend.

Cornell Law's Prof. Jacobson talks about the Religion of Context. He then writes here about Visconti's Law (an extension of Godwin's Law). As the good Professor himself notes, this is related to a Kafkatrap, which is linked and explained here. It's a long article, so I'll briefly explain the Kafkatrap, which is employed often to attack anybody who deviates from the lefty line (rightys use it sometimes too, but with less results). Basically, the accuser (A) will accuse the trap victim (B) of some charge that cannot be disproven (anti-semitism, racism, sexism, homophobic tendencies, etc.). A uses a variety of different models of the Kafkatrap to smear B, some examples being:

“Your refusal to acknowledge that you are guilty of {sin,racism,sexism, homophobia,oppression…} confirms that you are guilty of {sin,racism,sexism, homophobia,oppression…}.” - Kafkatrap Model A

“Even if you do not feel yourself to be guilty of {sin,racism,sexism, homophobia,oppression…}, you are guilty because you have benefited from the {sinful,racist,sexist,homophobic,oppressive,…} behavior of others in the system.” - Kafkatrap Model C

“Even if you do not feel yourself to be guilty of {sin,racism,sexism, homophobia,oppression…}, you are guilty because you have a privileged position in the {sinful,racist,sexist,homophobic,oppressive,…} system.” Model P

The act of demanding a definition of {sin,racism,sexism,homophobia,oppression} that can be consequentially checked and falsified proves you are {sinful,racist,sexist, homophobic, oppressive}.” Model D

Skepticism about any particular anecdotal account of {sin,racism,sexism,homophobia,oppression,…}, or any attempt to deny that the particular anecdote implies a systemic problem in which you are one of the guilty parties, is itself sufficient to establish your guilt.” Model S

So that's basically how the Kafkatrap works, beware of it and call it out when you see it. That's what they do to the Tea Party; Step One: Call them racist. Subsequently, they will enthusiastically deny the allegations. Step Two: Infer that their heated denials and hot tempers that are natural reactions to the incediary charges are further proof of their racism. It's that simple!

The real secret to getting rid of racism is very easy, of course. Morgan Freeman knows this open secret and drops it hard on some unsuspecting, stereotypical New York Jew (Mike Wallace). Put that in your conventional wisdom pipe and smoke it.  Mike Wallace's paternalistic, condescending attitude shines right through here, almost as conspicuously as James Cameron's in Avatar.

Btw, for those expecting a picture of a breasty babe, the one I drew for you will have to suffice for today ;).