Reed the Viking

Who Loves the Sun

I've started a busier work schedule with fluctuating hours. I've also got a visitor in town from the mainland this week, so blogging may be lighter than normal. There's lots of good stuff out there today, but I guess I'll just have to keep it in the vault until I need to refer back to it.

-The Viking

[EDIT: I changed the title of the post to correspond with the update]

**UPDATE: 10:02AM Hawaii Time**

Ok, seeing as I've been a fan of the Velvet Underground since I was like, 12 years old, this interview was just too awesome not to link. Maureen "Moe" Tucker talks about her political views.

Here are some of my favorite quotes, question and answer included.

How did you get involved with the local Tea Party movement?
I'm not "involved" with the local movement. I went to the first Tea Party in June or July of 2009 because it was within striking distance and I wanted to be counted.

Are you still involved in Tea Party activities?
I do my own protesting via email and postcards. Anyone who thinks I'm crazy about Sarah Palin, Bush, etc. has made quite the presumption. I have voted Democrat all my life, until I started listening to what Obama was promising and started wondering how the hell will this utopian dream land be paid for? For those who actually believe that their taxes won't go up in order to pay for all this insanity: good luck!

What are some misconceptions that people have about Tea Parties (and their attendants) in general?
That they're all racists, they're all religious nuts, they're all uninformed, they're all stupid, they want no taxes at all and no regulations whatsoever. Those "arguments" are presented by the Dems in order to keep their base of uninformed voters on their side. In my opinion, as soon as you start name-calling, your opinion is immediately deemed invalid!

What are your feelings about the online reactions? Many people seem upset or outraged.
I'm stunned that so many people who call themselves liberal yet are completely intolerant. I thought liberals loved everyone: the poor, the immigrant, the gays, the handicapped, the minorities, dogs, cats, all eye colors, all hair colors! Peace, love, bull! Curious they have no tolerance whatsoever for anyone who doesn't think exactly as they do. You disagree and you're immediately called a fool, a Nazi, a racist. That's pretty f'd up!! I would never judge someone based on their political views. Their honesty, integrity, kindness to others, generosity? Yes. Politics? No!

I like her.

Ground Control Didn't Kill Major Tom, Communism Did.

Strapped for time again, I'll try to get a longer post in later today.

Guiseppe Fratelli, you can inform your mother that microwaves and cell-phones really don't cause cancer. I think we've been telling her for years, but here's another reminder.

The Wall Street Journal says Capitalism Saved the Miners. Well, duh! Everybody knows that the commies like to let their stranded men in subs die of starvation/asphyxiation. And who could forget the story of Major Tom, the Soviet cosmonaut who's circuit died when something went wrong and then he couldn't hear anything and is presumably dead. Ground Control, don't take it too hard, it's not your fault... it's communism's.

Chris Matthews: If those miners were Teabaggers, they'd be dead! You know, just in case you had forgotten what a turd that guy is. He proves once more that he doesn't understand a thing about how Tea Partiers perceive the world, so I'll let Allah correct him.

Where to begin? Is he suggesting that tea partiers are so committed to the “every man for himself” ethos of individualism that they oppose on principle any form of mutually beneficial cooperation — especially between desperate miners or, say, U.S. troops trapped in a survival situation? Does he not get that the reason most conservatives want less government is because they believe that people’s lives will improve that way — i.e. that liberty is a means to the end of maximizing welfare, which sort of cuts against the “tea-party miners killing each other” scenario? Does he at least understand that small government does allow for some government, and that fiscal conservatism fully allows for charity for people in need — like, say, a few dozen men trapped in a hole half a mile down? What the hell is he talking about here?

The punchline: Given his past rhetoric about scabs, if there’s anyone you wouldn’t want to be trapped in a mine with, it’s Richard Trumka. Refuse to play by his rules and you might just get your head cracked open.

David Brooks and Gail Collins talk about Obama in the NYT. David Brooks wins (don't try to tell me that you can't "win" a conversation, 'cause I do it all the time). Gail Collins talks about semi-suicidal Democrats. I guess I'd be pretty suicidal too, if my messiah turned out to be a standard Windy City politician.

Finally: Hong Kong McDonalds offers wedding packages now! And don't worry, all you brides to be, about missing out on the great food because you're too busy with all the guests. Your happy meal won't decompose or go bad for up to 6 months!

Doctor: "Yeah... my bad." Doctors, like human beings, also sometimes make mistakes. Needless to say this is pretttttttty bad, poor fellah.

New Medal of Honor game is as realistic as the ads claim. The Story Behind Medal of Honor. Pretty crazy, maybe I'll have to get it.

Oh really? WaPo: Study Finds Very Few Racist/Anti-Obama Posters at Tea-Party Rallies. 

A new analysis of political signs displayed at a tea party rally in Washington last month reveals that the vast majority of activists expressed narrow concerns about the government's economic and spending policies and steered clear of the racially charged anti-Obama messages that have helped define some media coverage of such events.

It's not like I've been saying this for months... and those messages that "helped define some media coverage of such events," influenced the WaPo's coverage of Tea Partiers. I'll consider this an apology of sorts, 'cause lord knows I won't do any better.

Now they tell us: So... like, uh, this new healthcare is going to cost more for seniors. Maybe if they'd read the bill...

Perhaps these guys named their site after me. Hat tip to el Padre, Dad the Viking, who has been writing some excellent posts recently about "Deatheaters". Check it out, even if you're not a Harry Potter fan, because it has greater implications than just the fate of young british Wizards. 

 

Hehe. Pretty funny, now next time make that happy with Barack Obama and I'll give you the ultimate props. You know how his relationship is with the TOTUS (Teleprompter of the United States).

Alright, I've got to go, expect another post later in the day.

Don't Criticize What You Don't Understand

Today I have read two of the greatest posts I've seen in a while. What makes them so great? They agree with me, of course! I've said a billion times that the tea-party would be embraced by the hippies, and I've tacitly alluded to my hippie-ish nature by posting a song by the Youngbloods, titling a posts after Bob Dylan songs, and professing my love for the Grateful Dead, as well as that fine young lass, Mary Jane. I have lamented that the counter-culture warriors who once bucked the establishment and played government watchdog have no become partisan shills and cheerleaders for The Man. I was having a fun little political debate with my "left-of-center" roommate who said he's a "moderate", and I noted that moderate doesn't really mean anything. I'm pro-choice, pro-gay marriage, pro-marijuana legalization, and I'm also pro-guns, pro-capitalism, and very right of center on social security. Sounds like I'm a libertarian, sure, but it just goes to show that I don't fit in on the left-right divide. That's why, courtesy of Zombie, I can present you with the new political spectrum graph!

Zombie's article is truly epic, as he explains the graph, and explains why hippies are right next to The Tea Party on the list. Also, I loved his bit on Hobos vs. Bums, making me even more excited for Hobo With a Shotgun.

I include “hobos” and “bums” on the chart because the distinction between these two classic types illuminates the nature of the spectrum. In case you’re thinking that hobos and bums are just different words for the same thing, note: A hobo is an itinerant laborer who chooses homelessness because of the freedom it affords him, but who is proud of his self-sufficiency and will take temporary jobs to support himself wherever possible. A bum on the other hand is someone who is poor because he simply refuses to work or support himself, and instead is unashamed to survive on handouts and other people’s generosity. Because hobos celebrate individualism, freedom, independence and their own self-worth, they occupy the “sweet spot” at the bottom left corner of the spectrum, along with hippies and Tea Partiers. But since bums are essentially parasites on society and who survive on either formally or informally doled-out welfare, and often blame others for their predicament, they rightfully belong near the other end of the spectrum.

Get a job, sir. The bums will always lose. Do you hear me, Lebowski?

Zombie also explains the vertical axis and the dichotomy splits those who believe human nature can be changed and those who believe it is innate. It all goes back to what Malcolm Reynolds said in "Serenity" when talking about the evil, big intrusive government that is the Alliance.

I know this - they will try again. Maybe on another world, maybe on this very ground swept clean. A year from now, ten? They'll swing back to the belief that they can make people... better. And I do not hold to that. So no more runnin'. I aim to misbehave. 

That, my friends, should be the Tea-Party's official t-shirt. Ok, it's a little long, but c'mon that's good stuff! I at least wanna see "I aim to misbehave" on signs at your rallies [Viking Admission: If they start bringing those signs to rallies, I want royalties!].

Zombie hits exactly upon my feelings here:

So, the hippies of 1968 didn’t particularly like either major political party, but they showed a particular anger toward the Democrats for screwing everything up — while giving the Republicans a shrug. Which, amazingly, is exactly the way the Tea Party feels today: Anger towards Democrats, and a grudging acceptance of Republicans as the lesser of two evils.

Everybody who reads this knows I that the only mainstream American political party I dislike more than Republicans are Democrats. Like the creators of South Park have said, "I hate conservatives, but I really fucking hate liberals." I also found it funny when people would say things like, "if you go to far right you get Nazis and if you go too far left you get commies." It depends on what "left" and "right" you're talking about. They're both collectivist economically and believe in huge government control. So in essence, they're on the same side of the spectrum for Zombie's horizontal axis, but taking in mind the vertical axis, Zombie explains the difference:

On the right half of the chart are all the different varieties of political collectivism, or people who seek to impose or benefit from collectivist government. Those collectivists who think that human nature is malleable and a “cultural construct” are at the upper right; those collectivists who think that “people are the way they are” can be found at the lower right. What unifies the collectivist Nazis, Fascists and Islamists is not just their belief that humans have built-in attributes, but that their specific social, ethnic or religious group possesses built-in attributes superior to everyone else’s.

Zombie notes that he hasn't included all political ideologies on the chart, and that if you take issue with his placement of a particular ideology you can debate him on it and change his mind. He also rejects the left/right dichotomy:

People who adhere to the outdated and overly simplistic left/right divide may have trouble grokking this new way of looking at society. Newsweek, for example, recently claimed that the Tea Party has an “anarchist streak.” I find this interesting, because the Newsweek writer understood that both Tea Partiers and anarchists are on the same end of the “Government Control” axis, but couldn’t grasp that, viewed from a different orientation, Tea Partiers are at the opposite end of the “Human Nature” axis from anarchists, who want to construct an (impossible) law-free utopia based on the assumption that people can change and control themselves in the absence of any authority whatsoever.

This brings up a good point: Scroll back up to the chart and think of it in terms of “halves.” Leftists want to highlight the fact the both Tea Partiers and Nazis are in the same “half” of the chart — the bottom half, as it is currently oriented (although of course the way I rotated the chart was completely random — there is no inherent meaning in the up-down-left-right placement, and I just as easily could have designed it to be 90 degrees or 180 degrees a different way). Of course, as mentioned above, the crucial difference is that Nazis and other totalitarians want to use government to enforce their idea of the natural order of things, whereas Tea Partiers have the exact opposite urge — to have no government enforcement at all, and to let the natural order of things play itself out — naturally.

On the other hand, The Tea Partiers (and I) want you to notice that all the “bad” ideologies, including Nazism and communism, also share space on the same half of the chart, in this case the “more government control” half.

So, the chart is viewpoint-neutral; each person can express their pre-existing political bias by pointing out how this-or-that political enemy is at least in the same half as some identifiably bad ideology. It just all depends on what angle from which you choose to view the spectrum.

The last thing I want to note from Zombie's piece is something I was genuinely ignorant of before reading. Jack Kerouac, beat writer and father of hippies, was a conservative who supported Bill Buckley of National Review fame. That shouldn't surprise me, considering that I have always thought it makes sense that hippies should be libertarian-ish, but it genuinely surprised me. Zombie explains how the commies and anti-capitalists co-opted the hippie movement. Their revisionist history has taught the younger folks like me that hippies were always hard leftists, but it was not so! And Zombie, like my father and Roger L. Simon, was once a hippie and a leftist has woken up and is now libertarian-ish.

Hat tip to Jeff G. at Protein Wisdom on the Zombie article, I don't know how I missed it as I usually read what Zombie puts out. Jeff has also posted his commentary, and his post title is also a Bob Dylan lyrical reference. Here's what he has to say, and if I may say so myself, he sounds a lot like me (that's a compliment, Jeff!)

For awhile now I’ve been pointing out to anyone who’d listen that the 60s counterculture (at least, its rank and file) agitated for the same kinds of libertarian values that we now see coming from Tea Party / legal conservative types. Meanwhile, today’s progressives — the direct descendants of the New Left — pretend toward a counterculture hipness that simply doesn’t jibe with their calls to regulate salt intake, or legislate toilets, or micromanage every aspect of the life of “the people”...

It’s time for the erstwhile hippies to take stock: are you for the freedom and individualism and anti-authoritarianism you once claimed to embody? Are you for smaller government, individual autonomy, self-sufficiency, and the organic organization of the marketplace? Or have you become The Man?

The times they are a-changin'.

Zimbabwe's Latest Trend and the Truth About Bieber

I didn't post all weekend and monday was a holiday, Columbus Day, so I took that off from blogging but I'm back as normal now.

New Report: Bill Maher Even More of a Shithead Than Previously Thought. In case you're too lazy to click the link, Bill Maher praises Bin Laden's environmentalist message. It's shit like this and those climate ads that totally scares off lower-case E environmentalists like me. They remind me of the anti-drug crusaders who refuse to tell the truth about drugs. Marijuana is not going to kill you, and global warming is not going to force us into cannibalism. If these assholes weren't so over the top with it, they'd ingratiate a lot more people. Here's an article I've linked to before about Progressives Against Progress. It's an awesome, enlightening article worth the time of your day. Make sure to read it!

I've said I'm a lower-case libertarian, a lower-case environmentalist, and now I'm going to claim the mantle of lower-case progressive. Because the Progressives are against the very progress that I would welcome. Although I can't see who wouldn't welcome this sort of green technology. 285 MPG, and it's not a hybrid. Sure, it'll never hit the market, but I can't see how creative minds couldn't make something similar with great gas mileage. 

Related: If you're worried about "range anxiety" with electric cars, do an experiment with your current car to see if you could deal with it.

I'm also a lower-case feminist. meaning I believe in female equality (just kidding). So when Jerry Brown, the Democratic candidate for Governor of California, called his opponent Meg Whitman a whore, you'd think the feminists would be all over his ass. Especially considering his opponent, Meg Whitman, is an independent female who was extremely successful as eBay's CEO. I think Whitman's a terribly weak candidate, but you'd expect women's advocates to at least voice their disapproval, right? National Organization for Women Endorses Democratic Candidate Jerry Brown Within Hours of "Whore" Comments. Ed furthers remarks on NOW's endorsement hypocrisy here, where NOW endorses Alan Grayson after his comments about "a K Street whore." Because calling a woman a whore is excusable if you're a Democrat.

More on Military demographics: Military Smarter, Richer, Southern..er. Well, I'm smart, and I'm Jewish so I have my secret Jew gold that the media and banks dole out to each of us at birth, making me rich. But like Meatloaf says, Two Out of Three Ain't Bad.

Questions NOT to ask the police: Is There a Warrant Out for My Arrest?

H/T to R.S. McCain for reminding me how hilarious the Onion is.

Justin Bieber Found To Be Cleverly Disguised 51-Year-Old Pedophile 

J.Biebz was just on Oahu, I'm glad I wasn't molested by him before he was exposed by the Onion.

Muslim Brotherhood Declares War on the U.S., nobody notices. As noted in the article, Al-Qaeda once declared war on the U.S. to little note.

Zimbabwe's latest trend: Women Raping Men. Not as awesome as it sounds :(.

Strategypage: The Cost of Muslim Intolerance. Related: Saudis Arrest Filipino Catholics at Mass.

Fat Bottomed Girls are Under Pressure

A while back, I wrote about my opportunity to drive government vehicles, and my delight in playing hippie music in the military van. I loved being able to play my iPod in the van, because Hawaii radio sucks and they are stubbornly holding to the "Rihanna Eminem Only" playlist.  Of course, we had to play appropriate music in the duty van because we're representing the Navy and don't want complaints. It makes perfect sense, a company car wouldn't want to blast hardcore rap about fucking hoes and selling drugs when busing around their employees. Perfect sense to have a policy in place against playing inappropriate, offensive music, right?

Imagine my surprise when a Lt. Commander told me that iPods were now banned from the duty van. He told me he was sorry to spoil the fun, but one bad apple spoils the bunch and that they had an obligation to take complaints seriously. The song that ruined it all? "Fat Bottomed Girls" by Queen. Yep. Fucking retarded. Some Lieutenant took issue with the song, and instead of asking the driver to change it, he brought up a complaint and got iPods banned for a song commonly played on the classic rock station (which we're allowed to listen to). An airforce staff sergeant who overheard the whole ordeal told me that some older lady, a civilian contractor, upon hearing the Lt.'s complained asking him, "What's the problem, sir? Only listen to Justin Beiber?"

The annoying thing is that the radio plays far more offensive music than I play on my iPod. I generally stick to very "safe" music, like the Beatles. Meanwhile, as I mentioned earlier, the radio plays that terrible Rihanna Eminem crap. So this asshole Lt. decided to punish the device for the music. Sir, with all due respect, you are a fag.

Now, there's been a bunch of gay suicides and deaths related to bullying in the past few weeks. This is really sad stuff, and homophobic behavior has serious consequences. That's why I want you to know that when I use the word fag, I don't mean gay fags, but like, people who ride harleys.

 

The F Word
Tags: SOUTH
PARKmore...

 

 

People who know/read me know that I love Queen, so that also contributes to my anger at this Lt. I also love David Bowie. But I also love muppets... say, what would happen if you put the three together?

 

As lame as that weiner is, I still can't help but enjoy the video. Make no mistake, the guy performing is a complete and total fag who takes himself way too seriously (like the Lt. above), but it's still inexplicably entertaining. Well, actually, it's quite explicable, and I shall explain it using simple math. Freddie Mercury + David Bowie + Muppets = Awesome.

Molestache: Female Edition

Worst story evah... ok so maybe the story itself isn't that terrible, but by G-d that's an ugly woman. I mean, it's a woman with a molestache who is in fact a molester... surprise! The Molestache: I guess that's one rule that transcends gender. She really looks like Charlie's Uncle from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, no?

Ok, THIS is the worst story evah: Fire Dept. Let Man's House Burn Because He Didn't Pay Fee. Wrong on every level, Allah does a good job with his commentary.

Back in the good old days of the Navy, when sailors died of syphilis.

What chicken nuggets are made from... like the author of the article, I'll probably still eat them. To paraphrase a quote often misattributed to Otto Von Bismarck, "Laws, like sausages chicken nuggets, cease to inspire respect in proportion as we know how they are made." I grew up thinking that was OVB, but apparently some nerd named John Godfrey Saxe came up with it. He's American, so go us!

Lockheed Martin has developed a one-shot self-aiming sniper rifle... the only thing it's missing is speakers that play headshot.wav when you remove the head from the terrizt. I believe soon, sniper rifles will be unnecessary as we'll have gnat sized nano-bots acting as our drones that seek out and murder terrizts. 

How far we've come: Transgendered Sex Shop Executive is the Conservative in San Francisco Race. I like that her/his (it's?) sex shop was named Good Vibrations. You see, it's a joke because it refers to the Beach Boys' "Good Vibrations" as well as vibrating sex toys! 

Wait a minute, this guy got paid to RECEIVE oral sex? That's not prostitution, that's an amazing deal! Where can I sign up? Plus he got paid a scratch-off lotto ticket, which could be worth thousands! Shit, I wish I could get paid in scratch-offs by the Navy... maybe I'll drop that one in the C.O.'s suggestion box.

Kinky Americans... God Bless America, land sex positions that I love! Skip the parts about Farah Fawcetts anal cancer, but the rest is a good read!

Only 23% of Classes at Harvard Have Final Exam. I can tell you right now that is not a good thing. When I was in college, I was an unmotivated slacker who literally searched for classes that did not have a final. If the final grade was based on paper-writing, I wouldn't have to go to class and I could rely on my writing skills to get good grades. And that's exactly what I did. I never went to class, never did any work, and I would read enough about the topic to be able to write what I knew they wanted to hear and I'd bullshit an essay for an easy A. I went to a school that's considered to be the best public school in NY State too.

They say the trick to a successful business is to convince the consumer that they need what you're selling. Somehow, I don't think this is what they mean: Home Security Company Breaks Into Homes to Sell Their Services. It sounds like something the mob would do... send somebody out to kick your ass, and then tell you to pay them for your protection.

The Rise of the Unicorns: Black Republicans. "Republicans are running more blacks in white majority districts than the Democrats are." Yeah, but those black people are just a bunch of Uncle Toms, duh! In the same vein, Republican Women Run Record Number of Races. Yeah, but those women are ignorant conservatives who are controlled by men, duh!

I never thought I'd say this, but I think we should follow Brazil's lead on this one... Illiterate Clown Elected in Brazil. His slogan, "It can't get any worse." He promised that he would do nothing except report on what other people in the government were up to.  Wait a minute, we already have illiterate clowns running our country; perhaps they can read, but they choose not to so they might as well be illiterate, no?

Concerning Rallies

I have stated in the past that I would never go to a rally, because I've got better things to do with my time (see: Jerk Off, page 28) and they're totally lame. Why would I want to go to a rally where my beliefs are affirmed by people who hold the same beliefs as me? Well, if women were out burning bras and taking LSD, maybe I'd go to that rally (provided that these women habitually shower). But I could really just go to Bonnaroo music festival (or any music festival) if I wanted to see that. I guess they're a good place to meet like-minded people, who, if attractive, you can try to sleep with? I don't know, but I personally wouldn't go to a rally to cheerlead for a political party, especially an incumbent one. But maybe I'm wrong, maybe rallies are cool.

Legendary proto-punk band The Velvet Underground's drummer Maureen Tucker was at a tea party rally? From Reason:

Prefix magazine calls this "depressing" news that will "bring you down" before the weekend, because it's incumbent upon all musicians—especially those in seminal proto-punk bands like VU—to have roughly the same, boring lefty politics.

Yeah, I find that I have to ignore politics in order to enjoy most of my favorite music and movies, because if I couldn't separate the art from the artist, I'd have nothing to enjoy. Sometimes, they make it so hard for me though (Sean Penn, I'm talking about your douche-baggery).

The left had to have an answer to Glenn Beck's rally, so the unions and all the other special interests that make up the Democratic party decided to throw one in DC this weekend. Take it with a large grain of salt, but despite having far less people in attendance, apparently they were a lot filthier than Beck's crowd. Like I said, take it with a grain of salt, because it's according to one clean-up member's testimonial. But I do remember at the time of Beck's rally reports that it was left pretty clean afterwards.

Prof. Jacobson wants to see signs of extremism from the Democrats' rally from this weekend. Those are easy to find, as many communist and socialist groups were in attendance. He doesn't want you to send him those, however. He wants to see signs of extremism in the mainstream media, like he saw the few extreme signs at the tea party rallies used to smear the entire movement.

Not just any photos.

Photos of communist and socialist participants.

But not just any photos of communists and socialist participants, because that would be too easy.

No, the photos I want are of communists and socialist participants which appear in the mainstream media.

I want examples of the mainstream media treating this union and Democratic Party-backed rally the way it treats Tea Party rallies, picking out signs as being representative of the views of tens of millions of Tea Party movement supporters.

Because if isolated signs at Tea Party rallies warrant gross generalizations about the movement, surely more pervasive signs at the rally today warrant such attention.

Links please.

I wouldn't hold my breath, Professor.

Protein Wisdom also has some good videos and commentary. Check it out if you want to learn more or see for yourself the pleasant nature of a left-wing protest.

Jon Stewart and Steven Colberts rallies should be a lot better, because they're not an arm of the Democratic Party (although they do go up to bat for the Democrats more often than not). Their rally is "non-partisan" and urges civil discourse, which I think is a good thing. On the flip side, I wonder at the timing of it all, considering they kept their mouths shut when the anti-war crazies were flipping out during Dubyas rule. I hope their rally turns out best of all nonetheless.

Mullet: Business in the Front, Party in the Back

Confirmed: Yep, Moses Parted the Red Sea.

GOP Confronts Sore Loser Syndrome. I believe I've spoken on this quite a bit.

File this under WTF: MI6 Uses Semen as "Invisible Ink" for Secret Communications.

Braylon Edwards... you fucking fool.

American Targeted for Assassination by Obama Allegedly Surrounded in Yemen.

I wonder what kind of nation state could possibly be behind this: Iran Attacked by Sophisticated Computer Worm.

Speaking of Iran, Iranian leader Mahmoud Imadinnerjacket blames capitalism for global woes. Quick recap on the great idealists who hate capitalism: Stalin, Mao,  Pol Pot, Ho Chi Minh, Hitler, Mussolini, Castro, Chavez, Kim Jong Il and the list goes on.

Jammie Wearing Fool comes up big today with two awesome posts. "15 Best Things About Our Pubic Schools." Yeah, everything's spelled *right*. England's future King: "I talk to plants to keep me sane." Uhhh, ok Charles.

As Allah is wont to say, "it's come to this."

Funny post by Dana Loesch who wonders what's worse, witchcraft or a mullet. Mullets are great, Dana, back off. I can't trust anything you say anyway, after you said, "I thought the left was supposed to be tolerant." Please, don't make me laugh. Seriously, Dana... Witchcraft is way lamer than a mullet, I mean, c'mon check out this bad boy. He looks like a real hockey player. (Note: I took this picture from the profile of my BFF Marky Bonethugs aka Mikey Fleischbones aka Marky Bankrolls)

 

Glenn Reynolds gave an overreaching island government some terrible ideas. Glenn, you know you're a prophet, even joking is not safe for you. If the U.S. Government ever tried something like that, I sincerely believe there's be an armed revolution that transcends party lines.

Here's a true story about government intervention gone wrong in NYC. Prime example of the law of unintended consequences. Reminds me of that time Mao got rid of all the sparrows because they ate the grain seeds, and as a result, locust populations thrived and destroyed the crops, resulting in a famine that killed as many as 30 million people.

If you only have time to click one link on this blog today, make it this one. It's about EDM Day, which I've written about a lot, and it goes into the utter failure of our media and law enforcement institutions. Could you imagine if the FBI said it couldn't protect black people from the KKK? The media would be all over their asses, and rightly so. What has happened to the "creator" of EDM Day is a complete and utter travesty. If you needed any more evidence that NYT writer Nicholas Kristof has his head firmly lodged up his ass, read this article. If you didn't, read the article. Bottom line, read this article.

Surprise: Health Insurance Companies to Stop Offering Child-Only Policies. "If you like your plan, you can keep it." - President Obama

Reminder: Congress Still Hasn't Come Up With a Budget for the Fiscal Year Starting in 9 Days. Ed wrote that post with the main focus being on Congress taking their longest vacation in 50 years so they can fundraise in at risk districts. That, to me, is only secondary to the fact that there's still no budget! If there was a budget, I wouldn't mind the long vacation, but for fuck's sake, really Congress? Really? These people are not fit to lead. It feels like nobody responsible has run this country since... has it ever been run by people who know what they're doing? If not, well, that's a little consoling.

Awesome timelapse montage set to the music from Inception, which was an awesome movie with awesome music. Enjoy

All We Hear is Radio Ga Ga

VDH: Decline is in the Mind. This is one of my favorite posts by VDH, a former professor of Classics and military historian, and it put some things in perspective for me. Decline is in the mind, and it's also a choice. America doesn't have to throw in the towel and let China take the lead. That is not predestined.

Canadian Woman Survives Deadly Cancer with Miracle Procedure... in America. It doesn't explicitly mention it in the article, but the Mayo clinic she had her procedure in is located in America. We'll see how long that sort of headline lasts after our healthcare system fully realizes the new legislation. I hope we don't see any decline in those sorts of headlines, though. I sincerely hope I am wrong and the healthcare legislation transforms our system for the better. But just save this article when people brag about Canadian healthcare.

Jewish Viking Blogger Re-evaluates His Feelings About Germany. Actually, I harbor no ill will against ze Germans; I love their food, I love their beer, and their women ain't bad either. Just gotta keep our eyes open for the telltale signs if they start to revert back to their 1930's attitudes. I was actually thinking about it earlier last week, how people often dismiss the anti-semitic comments from the usual suspects (Mahmoud Imadinnerjacket comes to mind) as just a political rhetorical flourish to please the fundamentalist base. It's very hard for Jews to dismiss eliminationist comments as empty threats, when, given the opportunity, people who spoke that way DID try to eliminate us. So yeah, that might be why Israel takes Iranian threats very, very seriously. Last time we didn't take such comments seriously, it didn't end well for us.

Best Dad Evah. Alternate Headline: British Guy Really Loves Fat Chicks. Cost to the taxpayer: 1.5 million pounds, which is equal to the combined weight of his ten girlfriends.

I've always been a huge fan of the Quaids. Denny Q-ballz is great for a trillion reasons (Dragonheart, Frequency being the first two I can think of). Randy Q-ballz is great for even more reasons (Not Another Teen Movie, Midnight Express, Independence Day), but most recently I love him for this: Randy Quaid Arrested for Squatting. I thought he would never measure up to Denny, seeing as Dragonheart is the greatest movie of all time (I mean c'mon, Sean Connery is a Dragon, Professor Lupin is an evil ginger king, Pete Postlethwaite joins to make the best cast evar). This might put him on the level.

We already knew Sasha Baron Cohen could do gay, but can he do Zoroastrian? Sasha Baron Cohen Slated to Play Freddie Mercury in Biopic. I hope he's good for the role, because if they fuck up a Freddie Mercury biopic, they'll have legions of angry Queen fans at their throats, myself included. Here's to the greatest vocalist in rock 'n roll history.

SEXIST! Harry Reid Calls Kirsten Gillibrand "Hottest Member of Senate." NOW, please notify me when after you have sent him a letter of reprimand.

Having just fasted for the holiday of Yom Kippur, I do find this practice a bit... unsettling. Jews Twirl Dead Chickens Above Their Heads. I found a Reform Jewish Temple out here (never found one when I was stationed in California) and I had a nice time going to services for the High Holy Days. It's funny to go to temple and see people dressed in Hawaiian floral shirts, and it was the highest population of Asian Jews I've ever seen in once place. The Rabbi was pretty good, but he has a funny speech impediment and sounds like one of the Spathi from Star Control 2. Pretty damn funny.

Suuuuuuuuuure you did, Dave. David Letterman: Yeah, I Knew Joaquin Phoenix's Interview Was a Hoax.

Media Lefty Admits Media Bias for Democrats. Nothing we didn't know here, but I like to repeat it to drill the point home. Especially when prominent, well-known leftists admit that the media will literally play cover for the D's.

More on Delaware and the O'Donnell race... I'm still of the opinion that I preferred Mike Castle as a candidate, but Christine O'Donnell is who the primary voters of Delaware wanted, and the GOP in Delaware should get behind her instead of playing sore loser. Sore loser also being played in Alaska, where entrenched establishment politician lost the primary and instead of endorsing the GOP candidate, has continued to smear him and conduct a write in campaign. Back to the topic of O'Donnell, I think the lefty meme about her being a witch is way off the mark. I've done stuff in HS that I'm not proud of, and that would look terrible on a campaign. It's not fair, but the Dems will do it to her as the GOP would do it to Dems with shady pasts. To prove my point, let's take the O'Donnell/Carter Quiz! I scored a perfect score, 100% ;). Don't cheat, and see if you'll be surprised. The takeaway from the quiz, for me, was not that O'Donnell or Jimmy Carter are loons because of crazy things they've said in the past taken out of context, but that pretty much everybody says crazy shit sometimes. If I ran for office in 20 years, do you think I'd be the same person as I am now? And do you think that the admittedly crazy things I've said here, taken out of context, could seem pretty damning? I sure do, my mom's even worried about my employment when I get out of the military because of this blog. In the quiz article is a quote from O'Donnell that actually warms me up to her a great deal, so hopefully that's really who she is and I underestimated her.

If there's one link you click on in this entire post, let it be the VDH post that I linked to first. If you click on TWO links this entire post, take the O'Donnell/Carter quiz. It'll challenge your preconceived notions and all that (well, I scored 100% but that's mostly because I'm a smart ass and guessed at the game, I didn't truly know the answers).

How Dogs Got Domesticated. Awesome video, I want a pet fox.

58% of Middle East Muslims Oppose Ground Zero Mosque? Talk about pre-conceived notions, consider my mind blown. Of course, I wouldn't take those numbers at face value; polling is often about the way questions are worded and the samples used. But I'm too lazy to do due diligence, so I'm stickin' with the article. Actually, the numbers aren't the important part of the article, just good for a headline. This is a very good article, read it. I particularly love the story about Caliph Omar, and the way Fouad Ajami relates it to his larger point.

I had previously seen the Facebook: Civil War Edition, but today my BFF Dr. Ago sent me a new one of Facebook: Historical Events. I am posting both pictures side by side, you'll need to click on them to make them larger so you can see, they're both really funny.

 

100th Post!

Today marks my 100th post, a very important benchmark for a super serious blogger like myself. I should be getting a book deal soon, right? Somebody pay me damnit! So that's not the only recent bench mark in my life. Last week, and I forgot to mention it on my blog because it was on the weekend, was the 2nd year mark of my navy career. This is important for two reasons:

1.  It's a nice count-down reminder of how much time I have left.
2. Pay raise!!!

You'd think I have something special planned for today's post, but I don't.

If there's one link you click on today, make it this one. VDH wrote an excellent post about the Obama administration's Animal Farm. I don't think it could be put any better than that, and quite frankly, I'm jealous that I didn't write it. Curse you, VDH!!!! CURSE YOU!!!!!!

Some discouraging, perhaps even worrying news from Turkey. How long can they remain a secular democracy? Scary question...

More troubling Turkey news: Big Contributions From Iran.

According to this report, I should be excellent at quick decision making. I don't think I'm good enough, maybe I should play more Counterstrike. Let's see if I can convince the Navy that we should have annual Halo training for 4 weeks.

When you've lost John Stewart... Dems are in deep trouble in November, lucky for them it's not 2012.

How to concede election results with grace. Would that more losers act this way, sportsmanship seems very underrated these days.

Daily dose of Paul Ryan.

Daily dose of Chris Christie.

WaPo hackery: Extending Bush Tax Cuts Would Deprive Government of $4 Trillion. Ed explains the hackery, but the short of it is that keeping the status quo doesn't deprive the government of anything, but raising taxes would increase tax intake by $4 trillion. The way they write it, it's like we owe them that money of ours (well, we do). I pay them quite enough, thanks.

Yesterday I read about a big announcement that would excite Democrats around the nation. This announcement, I read, was to be announced on the 15th of September by Tim Kaine. Allah had some interesting and hilarious hunches about what the announcement might be, and he wasn't far off, but he was ultimately wrong. If you click the link, and follow his link to the new "car metaphor," you are liable to laugh. It was Glenn and his readers, however, who had my favorite reaction to the big news today.

“It’s no fun when they are so easy. How long before that logo shows up with a red cross bar running from 10 to 4?”

If I were worth a damn at photoshop, I'd have been all over that hours ago. Good thing I've got MS Paint! Done and done.

 Artist Behind Everybody Draw Mohammud Day Forced to Change Identity. I have little sympathy for her, especially because she chickened out and apologized after it caught on. The real reason I have no sympathy for her is because I, Reed the motherfucking Viking, created Everybody Draw Mohammud Day first! I created it the day the South Park episode 201 aired. I got no credit because nobody reads my blog, but damnit I thought of it first, I should be the one with the death threats! I'm trying so damn hard here, somebody notice me and threaten to kill me! I thought of wearing an outfit made from meat to try to provoke PETA, but unfortunately I'm a little late on that one... Allah also goes into why he supported EDM Day but not the Quran burning with pretty much the same reasoning that I use. The most important point is found here, which I pretty much 100% agree with:

"As I acknowledged during Koran-apalooza last week, it’s a fine line between Jones’s stunt (which I opposed) and “Everybody Draw Mohammed Day” (which I supported). One of the reasons I look dimly on dopey atheist gags like erecting “Secular Trees” next to Christmas trees on public squares is because the offense to Christians seems gratuitous. Sure, they’re making a point about religion in the process, but they’re doing it in a way that looks like mockery, calculated to annoy. They have the right, but why alienate people with a taunt? That’s what Jones’s stunt seemed like to me — not so much a message to jihadis, even though he tried to frame it that way at times, but something aimed at provoking all Muslims, a group that includes people like Zuhdi Jasser. EDM Day wasn’t aimed at all Muslims, though. Some moderates were bound to take offense, but the point of the day was to push back against the sort of jihadis who’ve now forced Norris into hiding. Intent and intimidation do count here; if Christian fundies were threatening to kill atheists over “Secular Trees,” my calculations would change accordingly. But either way, there simplymust be space for this sort of offense in public debate. I’m open to drawing the line in a slightly different place, but the line has to be drawn somewhere."

Well said, Allah.

Glenn also linked to that story on Instapundit, and his comment goes back to what I was saying yesterday about the victim being blamed for the violent offender's actions.

"Blaming the victim is what people do, when they’re scared and don’t want to do anything about what’s scaring them."

True words right there. 

Hot Mexican Chick in Tight Clothes Gets Cat-Called in Locker Room. Really? This is a news story? There's nothing more dog bites man than this. 2+2 = 4, and smoking hot women in flattering outfits who walk into a locker room are going to get attention for their looks. Normally I'd ignore this retarded "story," but it's about my Jets (who suck, but whatever) so I felt compelled to comment. Lori Ziganto does a good job with this one, so just click the link and read her perspective. This really was just an excuse to post a picture of a hot chick.

 Men can't be men anymore in this country apparently, not even in the NFL. Next thing you know, they'll be sitting next to Tiger being treated for their sex addictions.

Jonah Goldberg revisits some excellent libertarian concepts. I've argued on the blog that a market economy is cooperative and fairer than a "fair" and "planned" economy. The biggest takeaway from this article, for me, was the concepts explored in "I, Pencil." You don't know how to make a pencil, and not even a pencil expert could do it himself nor could he know the immediate needs at every level in the process in a timely manner. I don't care how many Ivy League degrees you have, or how many Nobel Prizes you've won, a centralized body will not be as well equipped to deal with the issues at hand as the people who are actually affected. Not to mention the law of unintended consequences that comes into play every time new legislation passes (did somebody say higher insurance premiums?).

My father wrote about the law of unintended consequences today. Environmentalists know that bikes are better for the environment than cars, so as logic dictates, biking to work should be incentivized, right? Cue the law of unintended consequences: 

"The City took away one traffic lane and two parking spots and now has cars oddly placed in the middle of the street.  During periods of usual traffic, the loss of one lane increases transit time significantly.  Traffic never moves fast in New York (though the recession has helpfully cut the number of cars driving in the City; perhaps the Democrats can use that as evidence for the silver lining of their economic policies?)  Here is the conundrum for the Bloomberg administration, as it increasingly attempts to micromanage the behavior of New Yorkers: although their desire to save the planet and protect the health of New Yorkers is admirable, (it is for our own good, after all) they have neglected to factor in the unintended consequences of their policies.  For example, of the number of people who travel up First Avenue everyday, less than 1% are riding bikes.  If the bike lane causes increased congestion (which it does) then the net benefit on our carbon footprint will go up, rather than down.  Furthermore, the loss of parking spaces on the street means people will have to use parking garages more often (which increases the city's coffers by virtue of their 18.5% tax on their ridiculously high fees) which increases the cost of doing business in New York.  A not insignificant number of tax paying commuters will conclude, as all the costs of living and working in New York increase (again, the cost of food, clothing, and all other necessities goes up when the city makes it more costly to move around), that doing business in New York is just not worth the expense and the inconvenience.  Thus, our Mayor's desire, admirable as it is, to control every aspect of life in the Big City, will lead to a deterioration of life in the Big City. "

He also waxes poetic towards the end of his post, with a funny take on a poem about the Holocaust (Funny? Holocaust? You're sick Reed). Also it's a good post because he linked to me, thanks Dad.

One of my favorite blogs, Are We Lumberjacks, made me piss my pants with this one today.