A while back, I wrote about my opportunity to drive government vehicles, and my delight in playing hippie music in the military van. I loved being able to play my iPod in the van, because Hawaii radio sucks and they are stubbornly holding to the "Rihanna Eminem Only" playlist. Of course, we had to play appropriate music in the duty van because we're representing the Navy and don't want complaints. It makes perfect sense, a company car wouldn't want to blast hardcore rap about fucking hoes and selling drugs when busing around their employees. Perfect sense to have a policy in place against playing inappropriate, offensive music, right?
Imagine my surprise when a Lt. Commander told me that iPods were now banned from the duty van. He told me he was sorry to spoil the fun, but one bad apple spoils the bunch and that they had an obligation to take complaints seriously. The song that ruined it all? "Fat Bottomed Girls" by Queen. Yep. Fucking retarded. Some Lieutenant took issue with the song, and instead of asking the driver to change it, he brought up a complaint and got iPods banned for a song commonly played on the classic rock station (which we're allowed to listen to). An airforce staff sergeant who overheard the whole ordeal told me that some older lady, a civilian contractor, upon hearing the Lt.'s complained asking him, "What's the problem, sir? Only listen to Justin Beiber?"
The annoying thing is that the radio plays far more offensive music than I play on my iPod. I generally stick to very "safe" music, like the Beatles. Meanwhile, as I mentioned earlier, the radio plays that terrible Rihanna Eminem crap. So this asshole Lt. decided to punish the device for the music. Sir, with all due respect, you are a fag.
Now, there's been a bunch of gay suicides and deaths related to bullying in the past few weeks. This is really sad stuff, and homophobic behavior has serious consequences. That's why I want you to know that when I use the word fag, I don't mean gay fags, but like, people who ride harleys.
People who know/read me know that I love Queen, so that also contributes to my anger at this Lt. I also love David Bowie. But I also love muppets... say, what would happen if you put the three together?
As lame as that weiner is, I still can't help but enjoy the video. Make no mistake, the guy performing is a complete and total fag who takes himself way too seriously (like the Lt. above), but it's still inexplicably entertaining. Well, actually, it's quite explicable, and I shall explain it using simple math. Freddie Mercury + David Bowie + Muppets = Awesome.
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