I didn't post yesterday, so I've got lots of great news to write about today!
I always had a little bit of an issue with the current Iranian regime, particularly due to their feelings towards the jooooz. But then, lots of people hate the jooooz, so there was no reason to get fired up about it... that is, until now. Iranian Newspaper: "Carla Bruni is a Whore Who Should Be Killed." Sick fucks, you leave my Carla alone! This is not the way to win hearts and minds in the international community, which everybody knows is what Iran has been trying to do with the election of Mahmoud Imadinnerjacket.
Ok, seriously Iran? Now I'm REALLY angry! Cheerleaders Forced to Cover Up During US-Iran Basketball Game. I'm really actually angry at 'Mrrrka for agreeing to that bullshit. I want my cheerleaders half-nude, dumb as a rock, and busty as hell.
I'm not the only guy (hardly) who likes a large bust. From Glenn, Quote of the Day: "I want it just like her but with bigger boobs." Classic stuff right there. Anybody who's spent 15 minutes in conversation with me knows that I can't wait for lifelike sex-dolls. I want them to be completely customizable so when I'm in the mood to free willie, I can pack on her pounds, or when I'm trying to get my King Kong on, I can get me a jungle girl. For all other times, Salma Hayek in Desperado will do just fine.
Maybe I could do without the sexbots if I sign up for this dating site. 64% of Young Woman on Dating Site Would Make Sex Tape to Get Ahead. 45% said they'd bone their teacher for better grades, which makes me think I went into the wrong field. Where can I find these girls!?
So far I've talked about a lot of TnA (that's Tits 'n Ass for all readers over 50 [Mom, Dad]), but aside from a nice juicy woman, I also appreciate other kinds of meat, namely, the red kind. In fact, if a woman's face was replaced with a steak (ok, you can keep her mouth there, but everything else is ribeye!) I'd be much more inclined to pay her some attention up there. But I digress; red meat is the best food and everybody knows it, so most people don't bother to advertise a product that sells itself. But most people are not Australian, so here's an advertisement from Australia for meat. And it's even better than it sounds, if that's even possible. H/T to my padre, and here's the link I saw it on at bookworm room.
Meat! Meat! Meat! And what goes better to wash down a nice steak than the Jew's Ear Juice?
Perhaps I'm missing something, but the way I'd translate that product is, "Black wood ear dew," which makes almost as much sense. Actually, inside the link they explain the translation and what the drink really is, but honestly, it's funnier if you don't know. The important thing is that it's "quality Jew's ear selected from Changbai Mountain." Gotta give the H/T to Dad again here, who seems to do more work for my blog than I do, doesn't he?
So now we've got TnA, Steak, and Jew Ear... what is this post missing? GUNS! While this post is no longer missing guns, it seems like the U.S. soon might be lacking the great equalizers. Obama Import Ban on Rifles Confirmed. That dirty stinky sekrit moslam kommanyst! THEY TOOK RRR GUNZ! Git r done? Admission: The Author of this post does not know what the hell "Git r done" means, if Larry the Cable Guy is reading this post, please enlighten me in the comments section. Also, please stop appearing on T.V., buy some sleeves, and apologize to your countrymen for everything you've ever done. Thank you.
This morning, while getting a haircut that adheres to military regulations (well, Navy regs, which is basically no ponytails), when I saw on the news that an oil rig in the Gulf of Mexico exploded. "Huh", I thought, "the news doesn't usually run re-runs, does it?" Turns out, another rig exploded. Somebody really doesn't like that gulf.
P.S. - That somebody is not G-d, according to Stevey Hawkz.
Eco-terrizt takes Discovery Channel hostage, then is shot dead by the po-po. When a crazy person with right wing views does something crazy (i.e. bomb and abortion clinic), the Republican party gets blamed by the left, and the righties claim it was just a crazy person being crazy. When a crazy lefty does something crazy, the left blames the Republicans and then, when it is discovered that a lefty committed the crime, the left claims it was just a crazy person being crazy. The right also claims it was just a crazy person being crazy. I think it is fair to say the reason this phenomenon exists is because the conservatives, and even moreso the libertarians hold people responsible for their own behavior. Liberals, on the other hand, love to play the victim card (maybe that's why joooz are libs?) and say, "this little hoodlum was forced into a life of crime because of abject poverty" or "these angry terrizts are only killing us because of U.S. imperialism," and so on. Poverty, believe it or not, does not equal crime. I hate to pull a Tom Friedman and say, "I wish we were more like China," but if you were to go to a dirt poor village in China, you'd be safer than most cities in the U.S. And they make like, a hundred dollars a year out there.
So yeah, conservatives hold people to higher standards, liberals hold conservatives to higher standards and make excuses for lefties. Ok, those are some harsh and very generalized words. Now fight back, my liberal friends, school me in the comments! Don't let me get away with that libel!
Jimmy Carter Advisor: "Democrats used to be the voice of the common man in America, not his dictator. Harsh words.
As if being trapped in a mine til Christmas wasn't bad enough: Trapped Miner's Wife Meets His Mistress at Vigil. Now he's going to have to listen to her nag on top of it all, just kill yourself now buddy.
You don't say?: BBC Director General Admits BBC Had A Massive Lean to the Left. Well that's news to, uhh, nobody. What next, you'll be telling me Oscar is a grouch?
I guess I should be more sensitive, after all, the first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem. And while we're admitting things, I'll admit that I always thought BBC stood for Big Black Cock. I guess that's what I get for trolling streaming porn sites. Streaming porn sites are killing porn as we know it... does that mean I'm contributing to the death of a loved one? NOOOOO!!!!!
Video of an awesome baseball fight between the Marlins and the Nat'ls (I am not sure what that stands for... Naturals I think? Because none of them use steroids). Volstad looks pretty gangsta when he gets charged, but that clothesline from Sanchez was definitely a beastly move.
The other day I wrote about my grandfather and his excursion to the art museum with my grandmother. That prompted my father to send me an email about the most modern art ever, art so modern it hasn't even been created yet! David Thompson does a pretty great job with that, so click the link and read what he has to say about it.
False accusations for domestic abuse, rape, and sexual harassment should carry charges equal to the amount of jail time the "perpetrator" would get had he/she been convicted of the crime. Everybody knows that in cases of domestic abuse, rape, and sexual harassment, you're guilty until proven innocent.
Glenn Reynolds likens Marxist Utopia to a slave plantation, convincingly if I may say so:
"In fact, if you look at a Marxist Utopia — say, Cuba — what you’ll see is basically a plantation. At the top, you’ve got the Massa and his family — Fidel, Raul, et al. — followed by various layers of overseers — the Communist Party apparat, the secret police — and House Negroes — e.g., the state-controlled media — all living off the surplus labor of the Field Negroes, whose produce is disposed of not according to their own desires (that would be capitalism!) but according to their betters’. This, we’re told, is for the best, since they aren’t smart enough to make their own decisions anyway, and the Massa looks after them with food, housing, and health care. Slaveholders even defended their system as more humane and less exploitative than atomistic capitalism, conveniently ignoring the role of the lash, just as apologists for Marxism conveniently ignore the role of the gulag."
Interesting.
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