Don't be confused my gentile friends, tonight is New Years eve on the Jewish calender, tomorrow being the first day of year 5771. For those of you gentiles who doesn't know what a gentile is, it's a non-derogatory word for a non-jew. If I wanted to go derogatory I'd call you women shiksas and you boys shaygitz. Whatever, you're all goyum, so you don't have to worry about it. It's already 11:30 and I haven't had a chance to blog yet today so this is going to be a short post.
First, I'd like to reflect on Judaism's impact on mainstream culture. Without Jews, there'd be no Hip-hop, as we invented the du-rag (see: yarmulke aka skullcap), we started the whole saying "peace" as a greeting or farewell (Shalom!), and we've been challah-ing for thousands of years. Also add in the fact that Moses was hearing voices from a burning bush and it becomes pretty obvious what plant he was lit up on.
Also, without Jews, what music industry would be representing and selling the rappers? The other day, I thought I was a genius when I created a rap name for myself as "Dr. Dreidel," but I had my suspicions that somebody probably already thought of it, and a quick google search proved me right (to my disappointment). There's also Jewpac and the Jew Tang Clan. I particularly like the last one, because it's Jewish people pretending to be Black people pretending to be Chinese people. Your mind just got blown.
And for those of you who have problems with the Jews, you better stay in line because I know Jewjitsu, Kung Jew, and Jew-do. Jewjitsu involves crushing you with my wallet, Kung Jew utilizes the Jew gold as a flail with which to beat my foes, and Jew-do is when I sue your ass in court and take all the money! While we're doing stereotypes, a Jewish friend of mine from college is out here with her boyfriend, and the three of us met up with some of my friends, who remarked that we looked like a crest ad. Let's hope this one catches on: Jews have nice teeth!
Finally: Obama Administration Names Asian Carp Czar. To think we've been going all these years without a bureaucrat on the Asian Carp case. Bravo, Mr. President!
Voter fraud in Houston and Philly yesterday, Kansas today? Well, it's not necessarily fraud, but it's at least at the level of "shady." In Kansas' defense, the article has no mention of ACORN, so maybe it's not fraud after all.
The great Allah's two cents on the Castro article I linked to yesterday.
Tommy Christopher from Mediaite with what happens when you live-tweet your own heart-attack. He fell into the trap I always warn people about (the trap which many a hipster has fallen into). I am, of course, referring to what my brother says is the greatest point I ever made: "You can't live a joke." If it wasn't so late, I'd explain, but alas, you'll have to wait for another day. Perhaps I'll write a post just about that some time.
Civil Rights Defeat in NY's Long Island: Man Arrested For Brandishing Arms in the Defense of His Home. Ok, so he didn't just brandish a piece, he also fired some warning shots. Note that he obtained the weapon legally and, oh yeah, uh, 20 suspected MS-13 thugs were rushing his property. I believe this homeowner is correct though; The only way to battle MS-13 is with AK-47.
Democratic Congresswoman facing ethics charges was more involved in nepotism than she claimed. It wasn't enough that she ensured the scholarship would go to the institutions her family members were attending, she had to personally see that the money went directly to her family.
Monkeys acting like people.... No, you misunderstand, the monkeys are literally acting, as in, they are performing a role. Bangkok Monkey Shows (NOT like Tijuana Donkey Shows) H/T Hotair.com.
To all my Jewish friends and family, L'shana Tova (it just means happy Jew New Year, nothing serious. C'mon we all know I can't speak Hebrew).
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