This Post Will Blow Your Mind

The Jersey Shore's The Situation is estimated to make 5 million dollars this year. I love you, America.

Yesterday I laid out my proposal for the abolition of marriage as a state institution. One of my favorite commenters, Harry Potter (I assume that's what HP stands for), gave me a virtual high five, and shared that he too shares that sentiment. Today, in an interview continuing from yesterday, Red Eye's Greg Gutfeld  also came out in favor of abolition. He must read my blog (Welcome, Greg)! When asked about gay marriage, he responded:

"I have no problems with it. Look, gays deserve everything straights have, that’s just the bottom line. If it makes it easier for everybody, just remove the whole idea of marriage from government. I think it’s more of a religious question. They attach marriage to their religious beliefs and I can understand, it’s about the word. You know, I don’t care what they call it. And this thing out in California — so confusing to me. But you know what, whatever makes you happy and doesn’t hurt anybody — which sounds really contrived — is basically the way it should be, in my mind."

Noted pervert and proponent of authoritarianism observes what seems all too obvious to everybody else. NY is too expensive to film, says Woody Allen. And as Hollywood gets more and more expensive and restricting, many production companies are picking up shop and taking it elsewhere (like Vancouver, for example). If you want people to invest in your jurisdiction, maybe try having a business friendly climate.

Recently, Sean Penn has also taken to Europe as a location to film. Sean Penn is super lame (despite how awesome Spicoli is). This is an irrefutable fact, just like how proscuitto (import [di parma] only; please, domestic proscuitto should be a crime) is the best deli meat. Sean Penn is lame, and in case you needed any evidence, just watch the 2001 Tardcom thriller, I Am Sam. Tardcom, definition: A spoonerism palindrome onomotopia portmanteau conjoining the words Tard and Comedy. Other examples include The Other Sister, Benny and Joon, and of course Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List. Oh so where was I? Sean Penn is lame, right. Well today, surprisingly, I've got to give it to him. He is very, very brave. I'm not talking about how he "speaks truth to power" and loves communism, that's standard Hollywood fare. No, I'm talking about his decision to transition into a woman as a 50-something. I always knew Princess Buttercup was a lesbian, why else would she reject the charming Prince Humperdink? Well Robin, you've got your wish; here's Shawna Penn!

Sean really gave his detractors some ammunition with that shot. On the other hand, Yoko Ono, who I have hated for my entire conscious life, has completely redeemed herself. She sang at the MoMA, intimately engaged with the crowd and uploaded the video for all to see. She's done great correcting her image with this one, that's for sure (H/T: Twitter buddy and Navy prior service, GConRap).

She was either trying to sing, or was getting fucked hard by John Lennon's ghost. I prefer to think it's the latter; regardless, my favorite part had to be at the end when those 'tards (I'm sorry Sarah Palin, I mean mentally disabled... retard) were talking about how great the performance was. I have never appreciated "modern art," because to me, it was usually like, one little black dot in the center of an outrageously large white canvas or something retarded like that. This disdain for "modern art" is strongly tied to the male Vikings in my family, starting roughly with my paternal grandfather. My grandmother, who LOVES modern art (she has the quirkiest, most awesome sense of style evah) dragged my grandfather to the Guggenheim art museum a long time ago against his will. When they got there, my grandmother quickly lost (ignored is probably better) my grandfather, but eventually she noticed he was missing. She looked around and found a crowd gathered around one piece, listening intently to the tour guide. Upon closer inspection, she noticed that the tour guide was my grandfather, and was feeding the crowd complete bullshit (which they eat right up). "You see, those lines represent sexual repression, and that red splotch signifies the blood spilled in the fight for civil rights." My grandmother never made him go back to the art museum again. That sort of sabotage behavior is evident in my character, like when my mom asks me to do the laundry and I make sure to fuck it up so she never asks me to do it again! Thanks Gramps!

Epic fail: German teen who robbed a bank got caught after taunting police on the internet for mistaken coverage of the incident.

North of Germany, the Danes are going to space! Note the headline Viking reference. Thanks WJW! One of those involved mentioned that he's tired of waiting for NASA and wants to go to space. Well, good for him. On the other hand, we HAVE NASA and are tired of waiting for it, that's why we have the X-prize. I watched a documentary about the X-prize once, I remember being impressed with Burt Rutan at the time.

I interrupt this blog post with a message informing you: Ducks wear dog masks (via Izismile.com)

Your mind has just been blown! You will never look at a mallard duck the same way again. Let me blow your mind once more. Well, now you know what a real nerd looks like.

Iraqi's don't want us to leave... at least 60% of them don't. That's what they get for voting for Barack Obama, rubes!

Freedom Flotilla targeting New England during Obama's stay? JWF doesn't expect the press to take to the story unless they can somehow blame Israel (which seems unlikely, but then again, the 9/11 Mosque controversy was also able to be blamed on Israel, and Hitler is also being blamed on the Jews).

Leave Britney Obama alone! I agree that Obama playing golf isn't a big deal, the guy needs his personal time. It's unfair, but it just sucks that it fits the opposition narrative of an out-of-touch big wig who'd rather play golf than check the gulf. I'd be more sympathetic if his staunch defenders who wallow in Obamapity weren't the same partisans attacking Bush for similar activities. It's all partisanship though, and it's dumb. To be honest, the only reason I linked to this post was so I could make fun of golf, because it's the lamest sport out there. Also, to quote Mark Twain, as a commenter on the post did, "Golf is a good walk spoiled." Amen.

While on the topic of golf, Tiger Woods Taiwanese animators are at the cutting edge of the new media. I've seen a bunch of their animations, and I don't get what the big deal is, but I love Taiwan and thus, enjoy stories of their success. My HTC Incredible phone (which is aptly named) is also made in Taiwan (HTC is a Taiwanese company). 

The craziest car crash I've ever seen on tape, and the incredible part is that the guy didn't die on impact; he's apparently hospitalized in critical condition.

Steven Colbert tweets: "Iran may have a new weapon, but there's a bright side: they have to acknowledge Israel exists before they can attack it." He's hilarious, and all politics aside, he walks the walk when it comes to supporting the troops. He went to Iraq to tape his show with them, and he's welcoming them home as well. Unlike Code "We support the troops but not the war" Pink, who then go act in ways that severely hurt the troops (sometimes mortally), Steven Colbert does support the troops. Good on him.

Before I leave you, I have an awesome picture of a Kingly patriot.

Comments

[Chris]

Good stuff, Reed.

[cf]

This is the best blog evah....how much to buy it?

[The Viking]

My blog, as well as my opinions and convictions are for sale. As much as you're willing to pay me; I'll argue that the Red Sox are cooler than the Yankees if you give me a few dollars.