I Made Up A Word: Jewbral

Stephen Hawking: Humans - Explore Space of Face Extinction. I've been trying to get out to the great unknown with my brothel harem for G-d knows how long. After finishing Childhood's End and realizing the stars are not for man, I was disillusioned, but I'm ready to forget about that book now.

Artificial life forms evolve basic intelligence. I don't know what's scarier, the fact that man-made life forms are evolving, or the fact that they look like moths! That's surefire proof that A.I. is evil right there. Not that we needed more proof, I've seen the Matrix and Terminator. If we can create evolving artificial life, why couldn't somebody have created us? Maybe those religious fags are onto something... Are we just Sims?! WHO AM I? If there is a creator, I bet he likes Pink Floyd.

Jonas Brothers:

Jonas sews up his own leg because E.R. wait is too long. Never thought I'd say this about a Jonas, but this guy is pure, 100% 'Mrrkin man. Never mind that he's Swedish and thus, probably can't even pronounce Jonas (it might be like, Yonah or something; I don't know, am I even using the right stereotype here?). Damn Swedes and their delicious Swedish Fish!
George Jonas talks about the ground zero mosque. I know I've talked pretty extensively about the ground zero mosque before, but I think George Jonas talks about it better than I do so I'll leave it to him. He says everything I've been thinking, but am too inept to put into (English) words. It's a short article, and it's really damn good, just read it.

While on the topic of the mosque*, let's see what these two Canadian terrorists Muslims have to say about it. I know what you're thinking: "Canadian AND Muslim? How could it get any worse?" Let me tell you how: They're half Mexican (and not the legal kind). If they didn't have to go to American public school with all of us bigots, they certainly dodged a bullet; I know that in my high school, we would've knocked the turban off those mullets. Ah, yes, as I was saying, let's see what these two Canadian (LOL!) Muslims (scary and foreign!) have to say about the mosque: Um, Earth to White people: yeah, it's a provocation. When I say white people, I'm referring to the "stuffwhitepeoplelike" type of White person, of course. To paraphrase the article, "You are a dumb dumby if you think this is about holding hands and singing kumbayah, but that's not even the important thing to look at. Look at the $100 million and where it's coming from." Ok, how about a real quote, Reed.

"As for those teary-eyed, bleeding-heart liberals such as New York mayor Michael Bloomberg and much of the media, who are blind to the Islamist agenda in North America, we understand their goodwill.
Unfortunately for us, their stand is based on ignorance and guilt, and they will never in their lives have to face the tyranny of Islamism that targets, kills and maims Muslims worldwide, and is using liberalism itself to destroy liberal secular democratic societies from within."

It's a good article for sure, and I know I was poking fun of the authors, but definitely worth the time. There's a little philosophical overlap with the Jonas piece, but read it anyway for the parts that don't overlap. These guys seem legit, made more so by their awesomely named book titles, "Their Jihad... Not My Jihad" and "The Jew is Not My Enemy." You can find those on the shelf next to the female empowerment classic, "Overcooked Rice is Not a Legitimate Excuse for the Beatings," and of course, it's sequal "Battered Woman: 200 Pancake and Waffle Recipes So Good He'll Keep His Hands on the Table and Off You!" Cause pancakes and waffles are made from batter, so she's a battered woman, get it? I can't take full credit for that one (and I'm not sure I want to) so I'll give due credit for the battered woman joke to Forrington Emhouse.

Red Eye's Greg Gutfeld, on the other hand, was inspired by the story of the ground zero mosque; so inspired that he decided to create a project to build another bridge that needs building. Greg Gutfeld: I'm raising money to build a Muslim gay bar next to the Ground Zero Moqsue.

Paul Krugman apparently wrote an article bitching about Paul Ryan's Roadmap that I was too lazy to read, but I'll dishonestly assert that it was full of crap. I mean c'mon, anybody who wishes that our government functioned more like communist China doesn't have anything to say that I find particularly worth hearing... Oh, what's that? That's Thomas Friedman who does that? Excuse me for being unable to tell the difference between two jewbrals (jewish liberals) who work at the Times and have stupid facial hair. To be fair, at least Pauly K got a Nobel Prize (but so did Obama, so what's that really worth?). Back on topic though, Paul Ryan responded to Krugman's article, and since I like him and his plan, he gets a link and some free press, suck it Paul (Krugman, not Ryan).

Daniel/Christie 2012? No, not for office, but for a weird lesbian scene (granted Chrstie could take a time machine back to when she was young and spry). I meant THIS Daniels/Christie 2012... I wish. My friends and readers all know I love Chris Christie, half because of what he does, but mostly because of how he does it (check your math, Reed... How can you half love something, and then mostly love some other part of it? Two halves make a whole). Mitch Daniels on the other hand, is somebody who I find interesting and impressive, but haven't written or talked much about. He's quiet and not particularly charismatic, and he doesn't have the advantage of looking like a fat guy from New Jersey. On the other hand, he has undoubtably done better things with his state than possibly any other Governor, and his poll numbers show it. So that's why I give him the top of the ticket, and Christie the bottom.

I was told I'm getting an exclusive scoop about a new political campaign ad that should blow Basil Marceaux and Dale Peterson out of the water. I should be getting my hands on it later this week, just standby. Until then, here's a story of a plane steward (almost undoubtably gay, just guessing based on occupation) who cussed out his passengers and peaced out the emergency exit, only after first grabbing some beers to go. Awesome...

*For the record, Mosque is NOT the french spelling of the word Mask, but it is the British pronounciation.