Fads come and go. When my older siblings were in middle school, pacifiers were apparently a cool accessory to have. I remember pogs, lanyards, beanie babies, pokemanz, yo-yos (especially brains and fireballs), and other stupid crap. After reading this article in The Daily Mail, I feel blessed that my fads were so harmless. You'd think an 'internet craze' called 'the choking game' would sound like a bad idea, right? Then again, some of my best friends used to jump off their roof/balcony. Dr. Ago, you know I'm talking about your dumb 7th grade ass... but it did make for some good videos, if only we had youtube back then!
Bush was a divider, Obama is a uniter! All ages, races, colors and creeds come together to rant about the terrible traffic that paralyzed L.A. when Obama came in for a campaign fundraiser. I kinda feel bad for the guy, but some of the stuff from the article is pretty funny. If anything, it's more an indictment of L.A. residents than Obama. I mean, yeah, Obama could have done a better job, but these L.A. folks are calling for investigations, some are outright apologizing for ever having voted for the guy. I guess L.A. isn't known for being particularly fickle or anything... Poor guy just can't catch a break this week month year presidency. I see pictures of him now and he mostly just looks miserable, it's always sad to see a broken man. At least Bush looked like he was having fun while he was out ruining the country.
IBM carved a world map 1000 times smaller than a grain of sand. We can do that, but we can't find Bin Laden? We can carve a microscopic world map, but we can't give me robot legs? I call shenanigans!
When I was still a suckling babe (age 15), my family would get together with another family or two every once in a while, and we would play a game called Balderdash. It's a great game, and I haven't played it recently, but I'm sure it could be augmented by reckless consumption of alcohol. Anyway, the game goes like this: One person picks up a card with a word on it that nobody has ever heard of, and shows it to everybody. Everybody except the person who picked then writes their own "definition" to the word, and the picker writes the real definition (which is written on the back of the card). Then at the end of the turn, the picker collects all the definitions, mixes em up, and reads em aloud. The people then vote for which definition they thought is the real one. A fun example? Fartlek. Definition: A sub-tropical plant, the root of which has found many applications in skin products due to its richness in vitamin e. Ok, see I made that up, because going with a scatological joke would be too easy and thus, lame. The real definition is some running exercise or something, I don't really remember.
Where is this story going, you might ask me. Well, I distinctly remember that it was during a game of Balderdash that I learned the meaning of the word Schadenfreude (most of the adults at the table already knew the meaning, buncha smartasses...). Schadenfreude is simply definied as getting pleasure out of somebody else's pain. A cliche joke to make would be "only the Germans would come up with a word like that." Ok, so that was a long lead-up, but here's the point. Schadenfreude: Seneca Nation Calls on Bloomberg to Resign Over Racially Insensitive Remarks. Oh the delicious, delicious irony... suck on it nanny Bloomberg, suck on it. To be fair, I thought what he said was pretty damn funny, but that won't spare him any sympathy on my part. Hoisted with your own petard, whatever a petard is anyway.
Not all right-leaning people are racists, I've stressed that a bunch, but also, not all racists are right-leaning. Don't forget that some of the original advocates for abortion wanted to use it to stymy black baby-makin'... too bad the blacks fought back with Marvin Gaye and all that other awesome music that gets you in the mood and out of your clothes. Frederick Douglas was a libertarian, apparently. If you don't know who Frederick Douglas is, shame on you. If you don't know who Marvin Gaye is (and you're a woman of at least a 5 on the 1-10 hotness scale), let me introduce him to you sometime ;).
This guy is a complete and total winner. He nabbed it all, billionaire heiress, hot billionaire heiress, and the world's richest unibrow for a father in law. The downside is that he's married to Canadian inlaws... so is the trade-off really worth it?
I quoted an article the other day, the gist of which was that Americans are the most tolerant people in the world, most critical of their own perceived intolerant behavior, and the most lax on the intolerant behavior of the most intolerant people in the world. Jonah Goldberg strikes a similar chord in his post, "America, the Decent." Do NOT, I repeat, do NOT misread that as "descent" because 'Mrrrkah ain't goin' nowhere, and Goonies never say die! Meanwhile, heinous Nancy "The (Bo)Toxic Avenger" Pelosi suggests we investigate those who oppose the mosque. She must not be very familiar with that whole first amendment thing that she's claiming to champion. My dad always told me that the first rule of holes is, "When you're in one, quit digging." So obviously, as logic would dictate, Ms. Avenger would stop digging and get herself out of that hole, right? The Botoxic Avenger doubles down. I can understand where she went wrong; KFC has been doing great with their revolutionary double down, why shouldn't it work for her? Answer: Because when she doubled down, there was a conspicuous lack of bacon and cheese.
Legislators in D.C. scared of a bunch of girls! How are we supposed to go head to head with threatening world players like NoKo and Iran if the beltway is full of pansies afraid of moms holding glocks. Now, to finish my post in the best way possible, I will honor these beautiful gun toting milfs with some nice pictures. Mmmmmm. G-d Bless America!
Comments