Reed the Viking

Memorial Day Update

So I took a break on posting for the long weekend, and I'm going to keep this post brief (but will continue posting as usual starting tomorrow). Where was I the past two days?

 

Yosemite National Park! All photos were taken on my cell phone, which has effectively replaced any need for a digital camera. When I got lost on the way home, my cell phone also served as my GPS. Ahh, the future! At Yosemite, I ran into lots of Chinese people who I impressed with my leet skillz, a nice married couple who were both prior service (AF and Marines),  and two Israeli girls who were taking a vacation now that they're out of the IDF. The Israeli girls were surprised at the way Americans "celebrate" memorial day, which was interesting to me. I wonder if they knew about the flotilla incident.

For those who don't know about the flotilla incident in Israel, here is some relevant information. If you have any doubts that the Israeli Navy was forced to act in self-defense, there are plenty of videos from on the scene. A quick google or youtube search should bring them up. I am tentatively planning to write more on this tomorrow.

Worst person evah! (h/t: Hotair) Seriously, what a terrible person... takes the whole forum troll thing to a whole new level.

Maybe this guy is the worst person evah... terrifying, I'm never doing mushrooms again (until I get out of the military). H/T: Reader Guiseppe Fratelli

Obama's previous best quote to date: "You ain't my bitch nigga, buy your own damn fries." -President Obama (they even have the soundclip for you to enjoy if you follow the link)

New quote, not quite as good but still hilarious: “At some point, Jackie, we’ll want to hear more about those tar balls and your bathing suit." -President Obama

Healine of the day via Instapundit: Air Force pounds MILF.

Unpaid internships? Soooo last decade. 2010: Pay to get an internship!

Since it's memorial day, I find it appropriate to ask: "Why so few medals of honor?"

Finally, I'd like to give thanks and pay respects to all those who gave their lives in service of the United States of America. I appreciate all that you've done in enabling me to live my life freely in the best place throughout all of world history. I will not squander the opportunity you've given me.

Introducing: Diamond Eye

So yesterday I might have over-reacted a little, despite my efforts to contain my outrageous outrage. My older brother schooled me a bit today, claiming that the media would've generally given Bush a pass on some of those issues I brought up yesterday, at least during the first term of his presidency. He also told me that I shouldn't get upset every time Obama breaks with tradition, because he's a post-everything (i.e. post-partisan, post-racial, post-american blah blah blah) president who is constantly breaking with tradition. There are more substantial issues that are far more worthy of my outrageous outrage. I often post my first reaction to things without thinking first, because who wants to post about OLD news? Not this guy.

OUTRAGEOUS OUTRAGE!!!!! RAWR! While this is worthy of outrageous outrage, I'm not really surprised. I read the NYT article yesterday and didn't think about it's deeper implications, so maybe the Grey Lady is just run by a bunch of 20 year old ignoramus' like me. However, I'm not going to give them the benefit of the doubt considering their disregard for national security and classified documents has reached nearly institutional policy like levels.

I used to think Texas was the best state in the union because they give out guns in their happy meals. My thoughts have been changing recently, and following this next political ad, I think it's time I formally announce my support for Alabama as the best state evah. Via Don Surber with a hat tip to the Instaglenn:

This guy gets extra points for being navy, but loses some points for the conspicuous lack of guns, horses, and the phrase, "don't give a rip." Still, this political ad goes up there with gubernatorial candidate Tim James', "This is Alabama, we speak english, if you wanna live here, learn it" and Dale Peterson's AG commission ad. If you haven't yet seen the "we speak english" ad, I implore you to go watch it now, it's fucking classic.

Alabama not only has the best political ads, it also has the best rappers! I present to y'all, Diamond Eye aka The Last Mr. Biggs:

Some back story: He got robbed and shot in the eye, which he replaced with an $100,000 diamond. His song, "Long Hair" can be viewed here, and some of his best lyrics, as chosen by me:

" Now if a bitch talk shit, I talk shit back; bitch I got a thirty five hundred dolla hat. You like that I know you do, I even get my nails done too, plus I got a dick like a fuckin' mule."

And it just gets better from there. I recommend it to everybody, especially children and parents. Therefore, Alabama is the best state evah, and Texas has been demoted to number two... Step your game up Texas.

If Bush Did It

Ultimate nuance: Obama not beholden to corporations, rather he is beholden to the executives of big corporations. Now, again my issue here is not with Obama receiving donations from whoever wants to donate to him, my issue is with the justifications his supporters (who were oftentimes the loudest to denounce any link Bush had with the evil corporations) can come up with, while keeping a straight face. It's one of those, "if/when Bush did it" things, where we all know he'd be crucified for the same things that Obama gets away with.

If Bush did it... Obama offered Sestak a job in return for Sestak dropping out of the primary. This is old news, and as we all know, Sestak did not drop out and ended up defeating the slimy Arlen Specter. How do we know about this job offer? Sestak himself offered up this information freely, and repeated it as recently as last week. The White House assures us nothing inappropriate took place... Robert Gibbs stonewall routine even has the NYT asking questions.

If Bush did it... Obama skips out on the usual presidential tradition at Arlington Cemetery for memorial day weekend. Before I decided to post this information, I first inquired as to whether previous presidents had ever missed a year. If they had, I would refrain from setting off the outrageous outrage. When I inquired with my father, his response was: "At a time of war skipping out on the Memorial day at Arlington event is beneath contempt.  I believe that even Clinton attended such photo ops; even if his heart wasn't in it, he was a good enough politician to recognize the optics involved." I'm still not sure whether presidents have acted this way in the past, so I'm keeping my outrage contained, but I just think, what if Bush did it...?

Remember the "Death Panels?" Sarah Palin warned us all about them, and that they are a natural outcome of the healthcare bill. Surprise, surprise. Money quote: "The decision is not whether or not we will ration care--the decision is whether we will ration with our eyes open." I never liked the use of "death panels" as a rhetorical device, but as the current nominee to run Medicare openly admits, rationing is a natural outcome of government run healthcare, so point well taken I guess.

Superbowl 2014 at the meadowlands! So it's technically Jersey, that doesn't mean it's not my home stadium!

The "Shortest Drug Lord with Coolest Last Name and Nickname" Award goes to Chris "Dudus" Coke of Jamaica (not Queens, the country). Apparently, he's only 5'4", but according to one interviewee, he's a huge role model:

"When me was a youth people couldn't come inna west Kingston an' buy nuthin' 'cause them 'fraid somebody would pick them pocket, not even police an' soldier coulda stop that...A Seaga, an' now Dudus mek them things stop."

Werd. I'm surprised they got somebody as high profile as Major Lazer to do an interview with the Guardian.

Our President is a racist! Shame on you for hating Mexicans who just want to get into our country, sir. What ever happened to, give us your tired, your poor, your huddled masses? President sends 1,200 National Guard troops to the border.

I leave you with this short (0:18) clip from the hilarious Tosh.0, the only thing on comedy central besides South Park and re-runs of Futurama worth watching.

Tosh.0
M. Night Shyamalan Twist Ending of the Week - The Weightlifter
www.comedycentral.com
Web Redemption 2 Girls, 1 Cup Reaction Demi Moore Picture

Burn the Land and Boil the Sea

You can't take the sky from me... (H/T: The Dad)

 Super corny indy addition to the Firefly series with video in the above link. Firefly was pretty cheese filled to begin with, but to a perfect degree. I'm a huge fan, went to the pre-screening of Serenity in NYC in 2005 with the pops, and our family dog is named Wash in loving memory of our beloved pilot. As geeky as this project is, it acknowledges and revels in it's geekiness, and that's something a fellow geek can appreciate. Hey, if it prompts execs to take another look at the franchise (not holding my breath), I'll be the happiest boy in town. This is a true labor of love (much like the original series, "Firefly") that is in following with the DIY trend that's becoming more and more popular. I give this project my full endorsement, and both thumbs up.

Also from the old man: Video Gamers Have Bigger Brains. Take that, MOM!

I'm More of a Libertarian

Hit the nail on the head for me here... Libertarians can no longer dodge political wars. I'm more of a libertarian, not an upper case Libertarian, as the article notes. Calling myself "more of a libertarian" has been a great survival tool, growing up in New York and now living in California. From the article (which is a must read, definitely click the link):

"The casual libertarian, though, is probably from Gen X or Gen Y. They read most of "Atlas Shrugged" in college, saw "Schindler's List" and came to the conclusion that government power was dangerous and that people should do whatever they want as long as it doesn't hurt anyone else.

They didn't like the PC scolds on the Left or the uptight Young Republicans on the Right, so they did their own thing and thus became "more of a libertarian."

And as long as the central political fights in America were about morality and foreign policy, liberals recognized "more of a libertarian" as a declaration of noncombatant status.

But the battles of today are all about the size and shape of government."

Ann Althouse rightly burns Thomas Freidman for his most recent autocracy-supporting statements, which go quite nicely with Woody Allen's endorsement of dictatorship. Money quote: "A love of autocracy often lurks beneath the liberal veneer. There's this idea that the right answers are known and the people are just too deluded and distorted to see what they are and to vote for them." 

Excellent article about the sort of society we DON'T want to emulate. Coming from the NYT, I'm shocked! A cautionary tale about European liberalism gone wild... Change you can believe in. Our public pension problem is already quite severe, though not as disgusting as Europe's. According to the article, one California former city administer receives (I dare not say earns) $509,664 in pension pay a year. 

Maybe the administration has been reading my blog. Big ups to Secretary of State Clinton and the Obama Administration for stepping up and doing the right thing in the Korean Peninsula. U.N. Sec-Gen Ban Ki-Moon (a South Korean) has also ramped up the rhetoric, and hopefully our talks with China will result in their support in punishing NoKo. 

Pictures of the gulf oil spill (H/T: Reader Guiseppe Fratelli)... depressing to say the least. Bobby Jindal is pretty pissed about the federal response. Maybe Kanye had it wrong... George Bush doesn't dislike black people, rather POTUS inherently dislike the state of Louisiana. It's really been 34 days since this thing exploded? Fuckin' A...

Don't be sad, my friends, for there is light in the darkness... Although we're going to have to support these 'tards beyond our capacity, at least they're good for something. Then again, don't trust everything you read on WaPo. I'm referring to this post by Ann Althouse, who again spanks the hacks in the media.

"if you choose to paraphrase and not even link, and I have to look up the text myself, and your paraphrase is not accurate, it is my job to embarrass you by pointing that out."

Kick ass, Ann, kick ass.

Lil' Kim, Mark Sanchez and Gandalf Walk Into a Bar

Ruining the lives of people who commit non-violent crimes is an integral part of our criminal justice system. Whether their chances of employment are fucked, their reputations are ruined, or they serve actual jailtime, these people are generally not a threat to society and the penalties far outweigh the crimes. The most common example of this can be seen in drug cases, but also prostitution and sexting come to mind. Reason's Radley Balko, who has been guest blogging for the Instaprophet this week, writes about the "boneheaded logic behind treating "sexting" teens are child pornographers." The headline pretty much sums it up, "Ruining Kids in Order To Save Them." Another example of this would be the case of child services depriving a child of his or her parents cause mommy and daddy were smoking pot. Maybe these kids should get this judge to preside over their case.

We've been going through a rough spot in international relations. The British are starting to doubt our relationship and I need not mention Israel. However, the most remarkable (or unremarkable) diplomatic misstep is our response to what's going on in the Korean peninsula. Lil' Kim's torpedo attack on a South Korean naval vessel is a blatant act of war. We are treaty-bound to support South Korea, with military force if need be. As of now, we're urging the South Korean government to exercise caution, even move on and focus on broader issues. 46 Sailors killed in a deliberate attack, and the message from the leader of the free world in response is to just take it. What kind of message does that send our other allies? Will Israel wait for US cooperation before it takes action against a nearly nuclear Iran? What about our enemies? From the above linked, Gordon Chang says:

"Deterrence looks like it might fail soon. The Cheonan incident could convince Chairman Kim and other potential aggressors that they will pay no price for committing horrible acts. Even in such a clear-cut circumstance as the sinking of the South Korean frigate, the international community is having trouble imposing punishments on the aggressor."

Clear-cut incidents such as a nation's official military attacking another sovereign nation's official military. It doesn't get more clear-cut than that. This isn't a terrorist organization acting out of havens in otherwise friendly-ish countries (i.e. Pakistan). Austin Bay sums it all up at strategypage.

"South Korea must demand reparations for the Cheonan, but if the North fails to comply, what then? Talk does not faze mass-murdering dictators. When Adolf Hitler militarized the Rhineland, the Western allies flinched -- and the Nazis became more audacious. The Rhineland was a strategic probe of allied will. Sinking the Cheonan is a probe of the U.S.-South Korean relationship and ultimately a probe of U.S. President Barack Obama's commitment to mutual defense. His diplomatic track record, and his personality, incline toward appeasement.

South Korea is mulling tough economic and political sanctions. North Korean elites, however, shield themselves from the consequences of sanctions, and any truly effective sanctions regimen requires rigorous Chinese support. Securing firm support is unlikely as long as Beijing sees South Korean and U.S. leadership as too supine for military action."

Our enemies have been constantly testing the mettle of our young, inexperienced President, much like they did with JFK in the 60's. So far, this administration has been failing that test. Fun fact about Lil' Kim's regime: North Koreans roughly 3 inches shorter than South Koreans... creepy.

Time for another look at the way the military academies are run? If I were to have gone the officer route, I would've chosen ROTC for sure. That's irrelevant though, because I'd never be a sir; I work for a living.

Why the media and democrats have jumped on Arizona and decided to make their law an issue is beyond me (actually, it's not: identity politics and the latino vote). Plenty of other states, as well as the federal government have the same or similar laws on the books. In Virginia, it seems to be working. Don't tell Obama, but he required proof of citizenship for people who's offense was wanting to shake his hand. OUTRAGE!!!!11!!1! RAWR!

Governer of AZ, Jan Brewer, tells the Feds to do their jobs, and also has put out a funny little ad knocking the fools who haven't read the bill but feel compelled to criticize it. My favorite quarterback in the NFL, who happens to be a Mexican American, gives his two cents on the immigration issue. Marky Mark Sanchez, you rock even more than I thought (and I thought you rock pretty hard). J-E-T-S JETS JETS JETS, baby!

I leave you all with Gandalf's Journey to Bel-Air, hat-tip: Anne Althouse guest posting on Instapundit.

Elitist Assholes Strike Again

After reading my blog post about the South Park Mohammed travesty, Reason.com bloggers took up my cause and declared today, May 20th 2010, to be Everybody Draw Mohammed day. And when I say after reading my blog post, I mean after some bitch in Seattle did the same thing as I did, just with a louder megaphone! The results and winners for best drawings are in and posted here at Reason.com. The article itself is worth reading, but I know many of you are lazy so go check out the pictures (there are only 3 displayed); my favorite is the one that won second place, but they're all pretty clever. 

Despite being a fan of apple products (I'm blogging on a sweet, beautiful 24 inch iMac that only cost as much as a car), I generally despise everything else about apple. The classic Penny-Arcade comic perfectly sums up my feelings about Apple and its fanboys. 

So yeah, I'm pretty happy I have a kickass Android phone on a service that is actually reliable (confession: if Verizon had iPhones, I probably would've bought one). Everybody knows that Steve Jobs is a genius tyrant (see post regarding police raid on Gizmodo), but allow me to introduce you to their latest disgrace. Via Allah, iTunes pulled an app from the market that was critical of Islam. Now, Apple is a private enterprise, and I support their rights to run their business however they want; that's not the issue at hand here. The issue is one of consistency: Apple still has the BibleThumper app on the market, which is allegedly the same concept with sights focused on Christianity. Allah's analysis is spot in, as he goes on to explain:

"...if there’s an uproar over the double standard here, Apple will likely cave and pull that from the app store too in order to be “evenhanded.” Which is precisely the wrong outcome insofar as it further rewards intimidation by expanding the zone of religious criticism that’s off-limits."

I don't want the BibleThumper to be removed due to pressure resulting from the exposure of this blatant hypocrisy. Two wrongs don't make an omelet, and three right turns are not a free lunch. If they've got a moral issue with offending religious folks, don't approve any sensitive apps in the first place, but if you're going to approve one, you've got to approve them all. Obviously, as Allah points out, moral issues have nothing to do with this act of cowardice as fear is the motivating factor.

The singularity is near! Scientists create first synthetic cell, at a bargain price of 40 million dollars! Some negative Nancy's are whining that it's not really a synthetic cell, since only the genome was man made. Still really cool stuff, and I hope they can make Jurassic Park a reality one day.

Those Chinese will eat anything, and it's not just the southerners in Guangdong (Canton for all you honkeys), but even the Beijing-ers (H/T: Hotair). My friend went to China some few months ago, and she ate cat and scorpion. My favorite part is the excerpt at the bottom:

Still, the restaurant’s menu makes some people wonder. “The zoo is where we teach children to be nice to animals,” Qin Xiaona, head of the Capital Animal Welfare Association told the daily “Global Times.” “How can we do this after eating them?”

As an unapologetic carnivore, I must ask the rhetorical question, "What does eating animals have to do with being nice to them?" It's my food, I eat it for my survival, it's not a matter of nice or mean. In fact, I will lavish praise upon the animal if it tastes delicious ("What a tender steak!"). 

The woot.com shirt of the day a few days ago amused me, and I have saved the design to show you all (H/T: Guiseppe Fratelli). He looks a little bit upset, but at least he has a job in this economy!

 

A Tribute to Forgotten Art

I like to do what I can to make sure good art never dies, and as long as I've done my work, I can't be disappointed in myself. There are certain things that should never be forgotten, and sadly many of them are. Every so often, I might use my blog as a platform with which I can give tribute to what I deem to be forgotten art. Today, a song by the one-hit-wonder hippie band, The Youngbloods. They are most well known for their song "Get Together" which is a wonderful piece of gay hippie idealism. However, their song "Darkness, Darkness" is way better, so listen to it!

Vader is a Moderate

Our progressive friends in Europe are going full speed ahead with their burqa ban. As a self-described libertarian, I don't think the government should have a say in how you choose to dress. Hell, in the US you can still wear the KKK get-up if you're stupid enough to risk going into public with that (a fine testament to how far our country has come in battling racism). Now, I think the burqa is a vulgar article of clothing, fully symbolic of the misogyny that prevails in the most radical interpretations of Islam. I also think that employers have every right not to hire a woman who wears a burqa without fear of being sued for discriminatory practices (which happens in the UK), and a woman should show her face when taking a picture for identification. If she's not willing to show her face, she can't have an ID, plain and simple... also, she'll probably get rickets due to vitamin D deficiency but that's not my problem.  The UK is the most extreme example of western pandering towards "multi-cultural" ideals, paying tribute to multi-culturalism over hygiene and logic with the ruling that Muslim nurses can keep unsatisfactory hygienic practices to "maintain their dignity," whatever that means. The burqa ban is a stupid solution to a real, existing problem. I find burqas to be oppressive, coercive garments that throw my feminist brain into a tizzy, but what's more oppressive than government telling you what you can and cannot wear? Education and outreach are better means to combat ignorance in this instance. 

Or I could be completely wrong... maybe under those burqas are some smoking hot bodies like the one that helped Rima Fakih win the Miss USA pageant. Ban those sonsabitches! By the way, even if Rima Fakih did support the terrorist group Hezbollah, she's no worse than our darling government who seems to maintain the same position. They're warming up to the idea of talks with the Taliban, so why not befriend the more moderate Iranian lapdogs in Hezbollah? Next they'll be open to talks with the moderate members of the galactic empire... I think Vader can be turned, if we could just find someway to reach him! I shouldn't be so hard on our government perhaps, they might be regulating political speech on blogs, according to Ed Morrissey's take on things.

Burn, baby, burn! Legalize it! When half the nation's smoked the stuff, including all 3 of the most recent presidents, I'd say it's about time to legalize it. Sure, don't let the military smoke, but at the very least stop the war on the mostly harmless substance. Let the civilians smoke to their hearts content (that way when I get out I can roll up a fattie, holla!).

Dear Government,

If you are reading my blog, please understand that when writing my posts, my tongue is placed firmly in my cheek. Please do not throw me in the brig, I do not do drugs as I'm sure you discovered after my last urine test. Thanks, have a great, unproductive day.

Love,

Reed

I don't know if they'll understand my plea to them as it was written in english rather than what my father dubbed "Fedsperanto" (good one dad!). I hope they don't kick me out of the military for my incendiary rhetoric, but hey, maybe they won't need PEOPLE in the military in the future. Yeah, you read that right... Anti-terrizt dolphins. Flipper, quit jerking off and get the bad guy you smart, slippery little cetacean.

[UPDATE 20/05/10 5:33PM PST]: Apparently, my dad did not come up with the term Fedsperanto. I should have known, because he is lame. AFAIK credit goes to John Derbyshire of NRO's the Corner.

It's like rain on your wedding day, it's a free ride when you've already paid, it's like feeding shark-meat to a seal... Is that ironic? I'm not a scientist, so I can't say for sure, but I think this is (h/t: Hotair). Follow the link and prepare to cry a little on the inside. It's like the first time I saw "Time Enough At Last" on the Twilight Zone.

Barack Obama tries out Chat Roullette.

I was totally for strengthening the border until I saw the below video... If this is who we're trying to keep out, we've made a huge mistake. I want as many of these guys around as possible. (H/T: Hanky Bartimus)

Coup? What Coup?

Allow me to start off with some follow-up comments to yesterdays post, specifically the DC Soda Tax issue. As a middle-class, well-educated son of an intact family, I've got (arguably) a better basis from which I can go out and be successful.I mentioned I don't like soda and that I acknowledge it to be a leading cause of obesity. Keeping healthy dietary habits is directly influenced by my upbringing (my mother raised me in such a way that I actually eat vegetables, even after moving out of the house! Yucky, I know). So of course, my background blinded me from making the more astute observations about the deeper implications of a law like the DC Soda Tax. The real victims of a law like a DC Soda Tax or the L.A. ban of Fast-Food in certain neighborhoods are the lower-class and undereducated, the ones who are least equipped to deal with the consequences. I understand the misguided reasons that they pass these foolish laws, but like I just said, they're misguided and foolish. Well, just wanted to add that little bit of analysis to what I considered an incomplete entry into my blog.

So I was reading my father's blog to make sure he was staying out of trouble, and I caught his post about the unheard of developments regarding the SoKo navy incident that recently took place in March in the waters around the Korean Peninsula. He was whining that the western media was ignoring the news that a South Korean investigation has discovered evidence of torpedo damage to their sunken ship, and they plan on officially condemning NoKo. I then reflected that I had heard this news weeks ago on various Chinese news outlets. I often read the news in Chinese, and this is the third big event that the western media has seriously lagged on reporting that I've noticed since february. The first two being Niger's military coup and Thailand's Red-Shirt movement. While I realize that the Red-Shirts are getting plenty of press now, I've been following these developing stories for literally months. The western media should step it's game up on matters of international importance. 

Muslim women empowering themselves... Badass.

This is the country we apologize to for Arizona? Punishing people for doing something that we literally have TV shows about in the states (up to 5 year sentence too). By the way, LA, how's that boycott working out for you? Fools.

Progressive! It's nothing the ACLU wouldn't advocate.

Dog Bites Man: Family values republican congressman admits to affair with staffer... surprise surprise. Pathetic.

I'm going to cut my post short here, woke up at 6:00AM today and didn't get home til 8:00PM so it's been long day.