Early emotional deprivation is a risk factor for the development of pathological narcissism but it requires material excess to universalize narcissism. Emotional deprivation in the midst of material wealth forms the nidus of what I recently referred to as the Narcissistic trilogy "of out-sized entitlement, inability to imagine or appreciate an other's point of view, and intense neediness." In an increasingly globalized world, narcissistic pathology allied with an ideology that leverages the Narcissistic trilogy, creates an extremely dangerous mixture.
The development of healthy narcissism, which includes adequate self-esteem based on a realistic sense of one's abilities, a reasonably close approximation of a realistic ego ideal, and a cohesive self (with its enlightened self-interest) is the outcome of a complicated set of interactions involving identifications and integrations (of self and object representations) in the presence of "good enough" parenting.
[In much of this work, I take a great many short cuts since a fuller explication would require a much longer piece of work. These ideas have been more fully elaborated upon in a series of posts here and here; as well, Dr. Sanity has also contributed an excellent discussion of healthy narcissism, ie a cohesive self, requiring a synthesis and integration of the grandiose self (representations) and the idealized object (representations.) These discussions are useful but not necessary for understanding the narcissistic trilogy.]
It becomes clear when discussing narcissistic pathology that it results from multiple failures of integration; that is, the process of forming a relatively autonomous internalized self-representation, complete with adult agency, suffers failures ranging from mild to catastrophic. Because the Narcissist never fully integrates the disparate images of the self and others in fully fused, three dimensional characters, he is left with extreme, one dimensional ideas of what it means to be human. He very easily imagines others have minds that are arranged just like his. He lacks the capacity for real empathy because he only has a simplified and simplistic sense of what motivates people. Because the Narcissist has an internalized image of the parent (mother) as either completely fulfilling all desires (the infantile omnipotent mother) or frustrating all desires (the equally primitive withholding mother) he is left with two extreme problems.
He cannot have adequate internal nurturance and he must always rely on the external environment to satisfy his desires. Narcissists feel empty inside. In a very real way the Narcissist cannot nurture himself and so cannot gain a sense of worth from himself. He is forever dependent on the world to feed him emotionally; only when he is adored or looked upon with fear or awe can he feel powerful, complete, and full. He must either find his own disciples or a leader in whom to invest all manner of sustenance. One exhibits the malignant narcissism of the grandiose self and the other the selflessness of one in thrall to the idealized object.
When a young person grows up with inadequate (emotional) nurturance, his self is damaged; he is left emotionally starving. When surrounded by images of, or in actuality by, great material sustenance (a poor substitute for the emotional sustenance he needs) it creates a painful awareness of the contrast between his internal impoverishment and the great wealth available from the environment. It is then the environment becomes the imagined font of all that he ; he lacks the sense of internal resources that can enable him to realistically gain what he needs while sharing with others. (This leads to the zero sum mentality that is so common in tribal cultures and leads to an inability to understand the positive sum thinking of the West, founded as it is on individualism.)
The young Narcissist is insatiably hungry, never satisfied, and his hunger can only be temporarily quenched by the adoration of others or via the [projected and re-introjected] awe of the Idealized Other (the Great Leader).
Radical Islam, in its many guises, is an almost perfectly tuned ideology to appeal to those who have such a pervasive sense of injustice. According to the tenets of radical Islam, young Muslim men have been cheated of what is rightfully theirs by cruel oppressors (Westerners, Jews, Hindus, et al.) They can gain riches beyond their wildest dreams by following the Idealized Other, dissolving their self into the Ummah (the idealistic selflessness of the true believer) and joining the great Jihad. There is no shame because they are sanctioned by their tribe in committing the worst atrocities. They have no guilt because guilt requires an other who has an independent existence and an independent mind; the other must exist and must matter in order for one to feel guilt. If others are merely one dimensional constructs, their needs are unimportant; all that matters is what their lives or deaths mean to the cause. Worst of all their out sized entitlement means that no amount of appeasement can ever satisfy their desires. Their hunger is insatiable; their needs are endless; their concern for "lesser beings" non-existent.
And in what may well be the worst of all possible complications, the usual route for socialization of the Narcissistically damaged is apparently not open to the Jihadis. Note that for the majority of damaged narcissists who can not obtain what they need from others (ie, where they cannot gain status in ways that are open to those of us lucky enough to live in non-tribal cultures) their recourse is to a form of idealized selflessness which worships an idealized other. In Radical Islam the charismatic preachers are instrumental in finding and developing volunteers for Jihad. In such a circumstance, it should be possible to exchange a more dangerous Imam, an Idealized Other, for a slightly less noxious version of the same. Unfortunately, we have already seen many examples of how little tolerance Radical Islam has for moderation. Anwar Sadat was a charismatic leader and attempted to come to terms with the Jewish people. More recently, and after being at Peace for 30 years with Israel, Egypt and the greater Arab world still treats moderation as a cause for rage:
Egyptian paper urges top cleric to purify his hand after Peres handshake
Several opposition newspapers and lawmakers in Egypt called on the country's top Islamic cleric to resign Saturday for shaking the Israeli president's hand at a conference.
Egyptian media has been running a photo of Grand Sheik Mohammed Seyed Tantawi shaking hands with Israeli President Shimon Peres almost daily since the two met at a United Nations-sponsored interfaith dialogue in New York last month. The photo has been accompanied by critical editorials and comments by lawmakers
Al-Osboa newspaper said in an editorial Saturday that Peres' hands were tainted with the blood of thousands of Palestinians who have lost their homes in Israel.
The paper called on Tantawi - the sheik of al-Azhar, Sunni Islam's pre-eminent institution and oldest university - to ritually purify his hands after the shake.
The problem for Tantawi, and for all who hope for Peace between Islam and the world, is that the Narcissist must continue to focus on the shortcomings of the external world; the alternative is to become aware of his own internal shortcomings. In one who lacks adequate structure internally, the danger is of despair. They can then no longer hide from themselves that they do not have enough inside and depend on the outside world for what they have never had. The alternative to despair is rage; and we are back to the beginning. For the Islamic world to face themselves and their failures, to own their failures, risks a depressive reaction and rage turned upon the self that terrifies.
When the world finally fails the Narcissist, as it must, depression of suicidal dimensions is common. The danger of an Islamic state, forced to confront its own failures and thereby imploding, becomes more real by the day.
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