I'm feeling kind of sick today, so everybody leave me comments about how much they love me.
Jihadi who threatened South Park was a Joooooooo! I've said it before, Jihadi is the new "goth." To be honest, I think Jihadis have a better sense of style, and I can't imagine their music being worse, so I think it's safe to say this is a positive social phenomenon.
Some potentially awesome news for the Jooooos in the Middle East: Gamechanger -Israel, Fossil Fuel Giant. While this is potentially awesome news, there is a downside. For years, I've been saying, "the jooz were given the only shitty piece of land in the Middle East that has no natural resources, and they turned it into a prosperous, rich nation." I won't be able to say that anymore if this article is true. I'll have to say, "the jooz were given a great piece of land but didn't know it and for decades we bought oil from Saudi Wahabists who fund radical Islam throughout the world. Great job, assholes, we could've been less dependent on anti-American oil for decades if you guys were smarter and more perceptive." Maybe China will like the Israelis more now and edge away from Iran? *Gives puppy dog eyes of hope optimism* Yikes, I almost said the H-word.
New York pizza and bagels are the best because of the water, it's fact. I don't know what goes into "Brooklynizing" your water, but whatever it is, I'd like to try it and judge for myself. Depending on who wins the lawsuit (Pizza vs. Bagels), I'll have to take a trip down to Florida and see if they walk the walk.
It's not the crime, it's the cover-up: Biden makes a small gaffe, the media covers for him. The gaffe wasn't a big deal IMO, it's that the media MISQUOTED him to change it to a correct statement. Could you imagine them giving that benefit of the doubt to say, Dan Quayle? It's not the crime, but rather the cover-up here that so annoys me.
THEY TOOK ARRRRR JERBBBBBS poodle? 73 year old man has his poodle locked up because he didn't have it on a leash. They wanted him to pay an $100 fine, so he drove his tractor to the jail and busted his pooch out with some wire cutters. Then the cops arrested him and euthanized his dog. Bastards! This is why I'm so pro-gun. So if the gubmint ever tries to take my dogs, I can fight back those tyrants!
GGW doesn't stand for Girls Gone Wild anymore... it's Gubmint Gone Wild now: Cities Restrict Trick-or-treating to Those Below the Age of 12. I definitely went until I graduated High School, the only difference was the addiction of alcoholz and/or droooogz. Get yer damn laws off my candy, gubmint!
When you're a jerk to the planet, it will come back to hump you in the face. I blame the filthy pollutin' Republicans for this: The Weather is a Dick.
I never though I'd say this, but thank you, Mexico... Thank you for existing right now.
Chinese Vending Machines Sell Live Crabs. No comment necessary, I think. Don't ask me to translate the whole thing; except for the interviews with people on the street, it's in Japanese. I can, however, translate the interviews. Not going to, but could. Yeah, I'm cool ;).
Phil Griffin of MSNBC: "You guys at Fox News are like, totally using your network to like, fundraise for candidates and stuff and like... we would totally never do that. Seriously guys, like, I dare you to find us ever doing the same thing ever. I DOUBLE dare you even, 'cuz we wouldn't do that. I promise." Ok, so maybe he didn't use those exact words, but the point remains the same. And here is Johnny Dollar, dutifully calling the bluff. NYT, you're on notice as well. Please don't mistake me, I'm not defending what Fox News or MSNBC does, I'm simply saying that those who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones. As Tyrone Biggums would say, "Let he who is without sin cast the first rock, and I shall smoketh it!"
The Tolerance of the Left
- Protestor who called Andrew Breitbart "gay" is a Democrat Party Official. I mean, I call people gay all the time. My friends, many of them self-identifying liberals, call people gay all the time too. I don't think that the protestor is necessarily intolerant or a homophobe, I'm just holding her to the same standard that conservatives get held to all the time. People like me - and I'm assuming Breitbart feels this way too - feel that Political Correctness is gaytarded (gay and retarded) and also has super black joo AIDS. But when you're called racist/homophobic/sexist all the time by those who disagree with you, it's fun to hold them to the same standard that they hold you to.
- Tammy Bruce, a self-identified gay independent conservative, notices that there's more tolerance for her on the right side of the spectrum. I think Juan Williams might agree with that.
- Liberals have for years tried to get NPR to get rid of Mara Liasson and Juan Williams because they appear on Fox News. Conservative Fox viewers have never tried to get them kicked off Fox for their work on NPR. Well NPR finally got rid of JW, and he learned an important lesson about the tolerance of liberals and the dangers of thinking the wrong thoughts.