In my post Narcissism in the Real World II, I described what happens when people Narcissistically over-value their own ideas:
When ideas become attached to "self-objects" or take on an aspect of a partial "self-object", the ability to discriminate between good and bad becomes impaired by the need for ideas to support self-esteem as opposed to existing relatively free from contamination by the person's psychological make-up. [Emphasis added-SW] To a Narcissist, all opposing opinions are sh*t. Thus, if their favored group is not in charge, the country is a cesspool. People like this have regressed to treating everything on only two dimensions. While they applaud themselves for nuanced thinking and object to Bush as being a simpleton who makes hard and fast distinctions between good and bad, in fact they only make the simplest distinctions:
"Good" are things they agree with in their entirety.
"Bad" are things they disagree with in whole or in part.
This suggests an alarming inability to make significant discriminations.
The worst aspect of such a mental arrangement is that they are incapable of reasoning about the beliefs they use to support their self-esteem. They cannot construct supportable arguments that there might have been a better approach to stabilizing the Middle East and removing the threat of WMD; all they can do is attack the current administration, and in a pinch, resort to "the country is a cesspool."
Yesterday, Dr. Sanity and Gagdad Bob both made important contributions toward understanding some of the difficult concepts which characterize the Narcissistic Character.
Dr. Sanity offered a critique of the Narcissistic idealist in MALIGNANT NARCISSISM - Sociopathic Selfishness and Sociopathic Selflessness. She points out that the evil that emerges from the Grandiose Self (GS) is usually relatively clear, yet the evil that emerges from the Idealized Object (IO) is often much more dangerous even while it is more often hidden from view:
The unopposed Grandiose Self gives rise to tyrants big and small; to megalomaniacal dictators and dictator wannabees; to unbelievable corporate greed and plundering; and to the typical criminal sociopath in all his/her glory. The damage that such individuals do in individual relationships, in business, in politics and in all spheres of human behavior, is well documented and appreciated in the world. Most children are abjured repeatedly never, never to be "selfish". To always consider others. Laws are set up to protect people from victimization at the hands of these unrestrained grandiose monsters, unable to see other people as distinct individuals separate from their own self. These "others" exist only as the means to achieving their own desires.
But far more menacing to humanity is the unrestrained IO, which has unlimited potential to cause human misery and death; and whose destructiveness we have seen dominate the 20th century. The countless dead bodies that are the direct result of this form of malignant narcissism are quickly forgotten because they died as some nations, religions, ideologies attempted to implement their IDEAL in the real world.
This second type of evil is more subtle, and it derives from the ethics of the IO side of the self. The IO also does not see other people as distinct individuals with needs and desires of their own, but only as fodder for the expression of an IDEAL; or as pawns for the wishes of a deified GS. People with this narcissistic defect completely reject the needs of the individual and enslave him or her to the service of their IDEAL. Eventually, the enslavement--whether religious or secular--snuffs out human ambition, confidence, energy, self-esteem, and life. These mindlessly malignant "do-gooders" -- like our Nobel Laureate mentioned at the start of this article-- do far more harm than good and their ideologies can lead to genocidal practices and unbelievable atrocities on a grand scale, all in the name of an IDEAL or GOD.
By all means go to her site for a fuller explication of the GS and IO concepts. Suffice to say here that most (probably all) Utopian ideologies are based on the establishment of a set of ideas that appeal to those who require an Idealized Object.
Gagdad Bob, in writing about Narcissism, the Grandiose Left, and the Missing Strawberries, points out that Narcissism is an integral part of healthy development and that the left's post-modern deconstruction makes a key element of the narcissistic resolution (synthesis between the GS and IO) vastly more difficult.
Remember, there is a healthy aspect to all of this. We never completely outgrow our narcissistic needs. We all need idealized heroes, people we can look up to. One of the baleful effects of modern education is that everything and everyone is deconstructed, leaving nothing left to idealize. Thus, the cynical drive toward deconstruction itself can be seen as a narcissistic mechanism that flows from bitter childhood disappointment and traumatic disillusionment. Likewise, if we do not give children heroes and institutions to idealize, we are actually committing child abuse--literally. The leftist is doing to them what was done to him. (I am especially thinking of "civil rights leaders" who teach black children that America is a racist country, that white people hate them, that they are victims, etc. This is a profound assault on the child's healthy narcissism.)
Obviously, this is a pervasive problem on the left, which cynically devalues everything it touches. Religious ideals are “fairy tales.” Marriage is an economic agreement. Sex is just an animal act with no spiritual connotations. Human beings are just motivated by material needs. The founding fathers were self-interested slave owners. America is a colonial empire. With everything spoiled and nothing left to idealize, the Left can rush into the void to save the day, so we can merge with the Great Collective.
[Children need "heroes" in order to bridge the gap between their parents, who have begun life for the child as idealized objects, and their entry into the world on consensual reality known as society. Without such heroes, the second separation-individuation of adolescence is much more complicated. Such children end up being prey to gangs and ideologies that promise to protect them and aggrandize them.]
What can be added to these descriptions is the affective charge which makes the GS and the IO such stable structures. In susceptible people, such Narcissistic structures are necessary to stabilize the person's sense of themselves; without it they face psychological disaster.
Many years ago I had a young surgeon enter treatment. The proximate cause of his request for analysis was that he had entered into a rather torrid affair with a married co-worker, and though he really didn't understand why his wife objected, did not want his marriage to fail. He wanted help understanding why she would feel the way she did and why he had so much trouble appreciating her objections. He had an intellectual understanding that most people don't approve of affairs but could not grasp in an emotionally meaningful way why she should object.
It turned out that Dr. C had very significant Narcissistic pathology. Yet, he was, at first, a quiet Narcissist. He was not a tyrant but rather was aloof and uninvolved with his family and tended to hurt the people he cared about because he was unaware of their feelings, not because he was sadistic. In fact, he used others as "self-objects", that is, as resources whose sole function was to make him feel positive about himself. His girlfriend made him feel sexy and desirable. When she would act out all of his most perverse fantasies, he felt loved and adored. His wife, on the other hand, wanted him to help with the children and take care of mundane problems. There was nothing very inspiring or exciting about such activity. When he was home he felt barely alive; with his girlfriend he was a Master of the Universe!
Once comfortable in his therapy, he revealed more of his grandiosity. He knew he was the most talented surgeon in this city. He had job offers that others envied. (There was some truth to this.) He was rather off-handed in his devaluation of Psychiatry with minimal recognition that his attacks on my intellect and abilities might actually have meaning or, if true, would suggest he was in a place where he could not be helped. No one's opinion really mattered; in fact, he announced to me triumphantly, he not only planned to continue seeing his girlfriend but he would never grant his wife a divorce; she needed him much more than he needed her.
At the same time he knew (and cared) almost nothing about the girlfriend; she was no more a real person than his wife was. She served a function.
He had constructed a stable structure which worked for him, until a crisis threatened to destroy his entire psychic reality. His girlfriend became pregnant by her husband. He was enraged and appalled. How could she do such a selfish thing to him? When she refused to terminate the baby and suggested they take a break from each other he was devastated that she no longer needed him.
[It is not uncommon for the Narcissistic woman to become invested enough in their developing infant that they can derive gratification of their own needs for fusion from caring for the infant. Typically in such cases, as time goes on they have great difficulty tolerating their child's growing independence and often become depressed when their children grow up.]
Dr. C was inconsolable. He felt worthless and hateful. No wonder his wife was threatening to leave him. [He understood her threat to leave him as related to her anger at his nearly delusional worthlessness, not at the affair.] He considered suicide. He was a horrible human being, perhaps on a par with the worst ever! How could he live feeling so unloved and worthless? Nothing helped; medication was for weaklings, not for him. Therapy couldn't help; this was a "real" problem, not a neurotic problem. For a time he was able to use me to stabilize his sense of himself. He could "reality test", ie he really was a talented surgeon who could help people. Unfortunately, his stability continued to depend on a n outside source and another crisis ensued.
My vacation occurred at a particularly difficult time for him. His ex-girlfriend was due to give birth and his wife remained sexually distant from him. He refused to see my covering Psychiatrist (who was "probably even worse than you") and told me he didn't need me or anyone else and would manage on his own.
During the several week break, he found an answer to his ongoing despair.
When we met after our break, he was a different person, preternaturally calm. Nothing bothered him. He explained he had gone to a seminar with a man who ran a cult-like group. The man was brilliant, quite possibly the smartest human being he had ever met. In only one meeting, my patient realized that he had found the answer to his inner distress. During the three week break, he had joined the group and had decided to devote his life to it. He suggested I might be interested in joining and said that "everyone should know about this and could benefit form it." Real-life problems that arose were of no significance; he had much more important goals now. His wife and family were puzzled by his new personality but they would learn to adjust in time, even if at present they refused to join him.
I saw him for a short time after his transformation. He became increasingly involved in the group which this man ran and his involvement presented a new threat to his marriage, but all paled next to the value of this new relationship.
Dr. C had used the affair to confirm his grandiose stature. As long as this beautiful, intelligent woman had been willing to enact all of his fantasies, to adore him, he could see himself as powerful and perfect. Once she transferred her emotional investment to another (her pregnancy and infant) he lost that source of self-aggrandizement and his intense insecurity and emptiness surfaced and became intolerable. I understood that he had found a new Idealized Object and was using it to combat his terrible despair and emptiness.
Dr. C was psychologically crippled by his inability to fuse the GS and IO. He had failed during childhood to make the synthesis and his failure reverberated throughout his life. His story is instructive.
When we encounter someone for whom a Utopian ideology has become part of their sense of who they are and what makes them worthwhile, we must recognize that we are dealing with a person for whom the ability to change and/or question their own assumptions has become severely compromised by their need to fend off existential despair. Certainly not every member of Hezbollah or al Qaeda, not every committed Communist, and definitely not every liberal or conservative, uses their ideology as part of an Idealized Other structure, however, those who do represent significant dangers to civil society.
We see now in certain precincts on the left, a growing intolerance of dissent (Joe Lieberman vs Ned Lamont). A new site has been established, ProSemiteUndercover, where members of Democratic Underground who support Israel can meet far from the attacks of those who demonize every move that Israel and America make.
It is a disturbing idea that even those who have been on the far left feel the need to hide from the venom of the farthest left. It is worrying to think of what will happen if they win the day in November, and nearly as worrying to think of what would happen if they were again disappointed by the electorate.
Update: Caerdroia is a blog that is new to me (HT: Seraphic Secret) but Jeff Medcalf makes a compelling case, in his post Israel Might Just be Serious About Destroying Hizb'allah, that someone in the Israeli military understands, intuitively at least if not explicitly, that once an IO loses its power, it is no longer of any use to its followers:
But Israel can destroy, not just degrade, Hizb'allah, critics' cries to the contrary notwithstanding. The reason for this is that Hizb'allah depends on public perception even more than Israel does. If Hizb'allah's opponents within Lebanon see Hizb'allah as defeated, they will fight Hizb'allah's attempts to gain hegemony over Lebanon. If Hizb'allah's supporters see Hizb'allah as weak, they'll look for stronger groups to defend them. If Iran and Syria see Hizb'allah as ineffective, they will withdraw support for Hizb'allah and put it to other uses. Israel can bring all of this about, but it will be costly and difficult.
Read the whole thing.
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